Where the Psychic Vents

I'm Baaaaack

2010-05-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

It’s been awhile. I won’t say I’m sorry because I needed the break. But, now I’m back. It’ll probably take me a little while to ease back into things.

Not so focused on things spiritual or psychic at the moment. Just grateful to have a bit of my zip back again.

Some thoughts on cleaning.

I have this latent slob tendency. Well, actually it’s not so latent. I am a slob. I guess that’s like saying I’m a little bit pregnant or I’m a little bit alcoholic. You’ve just got to be honest and say it, “I am a slob”.

While I was depressed it got worse. Not only was I not interested in doing anything I was not interested in putting anything away. Sometimes my husband would take the bull by the horns and tidy up, but it drove me crazy because I didn’t know where he was putting my stuff. Then, I’d get fixated with finding whatever it was that I couldn’t find. Do you think I’d wait for him to get home so I could ask him? No. Well, that probably wouldn’t work anyway; he usually can’t remember where he puts my stuff especially if some time has passed since he cleaned up. Don’t think I don’t appreciate his efforts. I do. It’s just that sometimes I can’t find my things afterwards.

So, I have climbed out of my rut. It’s the new me. Actually, the doctor gave me another pill, which after 4 days seems to be working really well. Projects are just bubbling out all over the place.

The background conversations I would have with my guides produced a bit of common sensical advice that perhaps I might be interested in cleaning up my area a little bit. So, that’s what I’ve been doing for the last 20 minutes. Then, I had to take a break and was motivated to start with a little bit of writing.

It occurred to me that cleaning a little bit of a mess at a time is probably the best way to go about it. It’s like it’s not a shock to the system. It’s like remodeling. My own preference is to remodel slowly, where each change gets to settle in and become part of the house. If somebody were to come in and totally remodel my house so that I walk in and don’t recognize anything I would throw up. Or, at least, I might become queasy, perhaps dizzy and disoriented. In short, I wouldn’t like it.

Why should cleaning be any different? This way, doing a bit at a time I’m making progress, but it isn’t a huge shock to the system.

It’s nice to be back.

Fretting

2010-01-29T06:04:00.000-08:00

Do you ever fret about how much time you don’t have? Maybe you are trying to do too much or perhaps you are unable to concentrate effectively on what you are doing at any given moment. If you had 4 things to do and did all 4 of them well how satisfied would you be that you could easily get to the 5 things you didn’t get accomplished at your next free moment?

I think fretting might be a waste of time. I actually do it a lot and am interested in achieving a more peaceful existence where fretting does not take center stage as often as it does now.

Here’s what I would like to see with myself. I’d like to see a commendable (to me) body of work done with my websites and with my blogs. I’d like to see more work done on my new hobby of carving crochet hooks. I’d like to see some time spent on creating and making purses and totes. I’d like to see progress made with my knowledge of Spanish.

I remember when I learned to channel that I concentrated on the task even though it seemed to me that nothing much was happening. My watchword during those days was, “I will not give up.”

Perhaps I can recapture that time and apply that same perseverance to what I want to accomplish this year.

222 and All That

2009-11-28T08:30:00.000-08:00

I hope those who celebrated the day had a Happy Thanksgiving. Our office is closed Thursday and Friday and this is a lovely 4 days off for me.

Mostly, I've been reading, Under The Dome by Stephen King. It was just recently released and is still one of the "New Books" at our library. Which means I need to be finished with it by Dec 2nd. 1074 pages. I've got another 300 to go. Good book. I love how Stephen King tells a story. There's just no hurry because you are NOT going to get away from it, whatever it is. So there is time to examine every picking detail.

And, a psychic point of interest....I had begun this post at my other blog called The Spirit Moved Me and Look What Happened. But, it being basically chatty rather than uplifting or in some way spiritually moving the guides suggested to me that I not put it into that blog. A better choice being this one at Where the Psychic Vents where I could write a nice update on my life.

As I began the transfer of post from one blog to the other I saw that this post will be number 222 at The Psychic Vents. And, that is news. Especially, since I was just writing about reading a Stephen King book. See, dear readers, when I turned psychic I was reading a boat load of Stephen King books. I had just quit my job in favor of pursuing life as a writer. But, the first thing I did as a free woman was to get horribly sick. It was over a month that I was sick. My days were turned upside down as I slept all day and was awake at night. And, I had an itch to read a Stephen King book.

I had avoided any of his books all of my life (up until then I was 35 years old and at the present time it is 20 years later). I thought they were just too scary. But, about 2 months before I quit my job to be a writer I was at the library on a Friday evening after work. The goal was to get a big fat book for the weekend. I didn't care what it was going to be about. I just walked into the library wanting a big fat book. I remember I walked around a little bit until I headed into the New Book Section. It was there I saw it. It was about 3 inches thick. It was a newly released, uncut edition of, The Stand. My heart thumped. I saw it was by Stephen King, but I flipped open the fly leaf to read what was there. Poifect. I took it home, read it and was done by Monday. 3 days to read over 1,000 pages. And, from that moment on I was no longer afraid to read Stephen King books.

So, 2 months later as I was fighting and then slowly recovering from that horrible sick I got the minute I quit my job what better way to spend my time than reading a lot of books by Stephen King? I did. And, I got psychic.

The first thing that happened was I began seeing the number 222 everywhere. I mean it was everywhere. The first place was the time on the microwave oven. Then, it was just everywhere. I talked to my sister about it because I was concerned and the next day she telephoned me to excitedly say she had just been in her bank's parking lot, looked up at their sign twirling around on top of a post to see that the time was 222. I don't remember what the temperature displayed on the opposite side of the sign was, but there it was 2:22 in the afternoon. Creepy.

I continued seeing 222 everywhere. Checks that I wrote had a 222 in them. Receipts I got from shopping had 222 in them. To this day, with every book I read, I seem to be aware of that page, 222, as it goes by.

There were other things that began happening too. My dreams got really vivid and wierd. I remember I dreamed about some tall dude coming up my front steps with a huge pumpkin head. I dreamed of myself coming up the front steps hand over hand on the railing as if I was having trouble with the ascent. I began to know that the phone was going to ring before it rang and then I began knowing who was on the other end. I was well and truly freaked by this time.

I went to the library to investigate ESP because that's what I thought this was about. When we were kids we were always interested in hearing about things ESP. But, it never actually happened to us. Just to other people. And, we also weren't real sure that it was real. I found a copy of Colin Wilson's book called ESP. It's a huge book and I read enough of it to find out he didn't consider things ESP to be freakish or alarming. That was enough to settle my breakfast and with a much calmer manner I began to read other books to try to discover what was happening to me.

I read somewhere that 222 is a signal that you are on your spiritual path. That put an entirely different spin on things from the lurid and freaky to a quietly psychic and spiritual path. I was comfortable with that.

I was on my way. So, 222 has a special significance for me and so do the books written by Stephen King. And, today is a special day for this blog.

Psychic Skull

2009-10-25T12:27:00.000-07:00

Somewhere along the line I read on the internet about a psychic who had skulls to sort of get her in the mood. I’ve got crystal balls, and different stones and crystals laying around. I’ve got a Buddha that sits below my monitor. I’ve got wind chimes and lucky pencils and one of those holographic etchings of Elvis, but I didn’t have a skull.

It sounded reasonable to me, so I went on the internet to look for skulls. I wasn’t interested in a real skull; a replica would be perfectly acceptable. Except, everywhere I looked they were expensive.

Halloween is coming up and the stores are stocking all sorts of goodies for the holiday. I happened upon a very nice skull at Walgreens for $5.99. Right up my alley. DeeDude wasn’t really thrilled with it and said I couldn’t keep it out in the living room. So, it sat on a little night stand table where I could look over at it. Seemed sort of bald. Seemed sort of not finished. I got the wild-hair idea that I would make little hats for it. Seasonal things. Like springtime would have lots of flowers on it. I could crochet them. I could do all sorts of things to dress my skull.

But, I didn’t do anything about it. I’ve just been real busy and haven’t had time to turn around and spit. Though I haven’t forgotten.

Last weekend we went to my girlfriend Barbara’s house for dinner. Dinner was fabulous and we had a lovely time. Her husband Charles had a birthday the day before and we took him a little present. When I put the ribbon on the wrapped present there was this extra piece with a piece of scotch tape on it that I stuck low down on the door jam for the cats to play with. They weren’t interested and the next day I found the curl of blue ribbon on the floor. I picked it up to throw it away and spied the skull. Perfect.

Newsletter for August and September, 2009

2009-09-13T18:47:00.001-07:00

Finally, I got my newsletter out. For whatever reasons I have been off track with a lot of things for the last few months and one of them was my newsletter. This is something I've been doing on a monthly basis for the last 4 years. I took pride in the fact that I hadn't missed any months. Until now. It really threw me into the dumps. I would sit in front of my computer waiting for some sort of inspiration to strike and nothing happened.

A friend advised me to take a break from it for awhile and see if the desire to produce the newsletter would return. And, today it did. Some changes, though. Of the 3 sections available to me (I write it at Bravenet.com) I will henceforth devote one to the guides channeling. That's why I'm here and it's only right to give them a section for themselves. The other section will continue to be for developing your psychic senses. I've had that one for some time and feel it is good to remain. The third part might possible be a humorous thing or could just be whatever seems appropriate. Maybe it could just be my section.

In any case, the newsletter is out and you can see it at Talking to Spirit here. Or, just sit back and read the humorous part which follows. I loved writing it. True, too.

Psychic Guy vs Non Psychic Guy

Same day. Same happenings. Same person except in one version the person is psychically aware and in the other that person is not.

Morning. Psychic Guy awakens and begins talking with guides. Decides to send out psychic awareness and request for healing to co-workers and relatives who are struggling with health and other issues. Non Psychic Guy farts. Farts again just for the hell of it and begins waving covers about. Psychic guy farts and says, “Excuse me.” to myriad guides who might be in range.

Non Psychic Guy decides to roll over and go back to sleep. He awakes in a panic late for work and off on the wrong foot for the day. Psychic Guy rolls over, goes back to sleep and is awakened 15 minutes later by guides who tell him it is time to get out of bed. He is not late to work and also gets to eat breakfast.

At work Psychic Guy gets a phone call. Guides indicate he should remain calm. Psychic Guy ends up telling salesperson that the company is not interested. Non Psychic Guy is unprepared for salesperson, ends up getting angry and tells salesperson not to call again.

After work at grocery store. Guides tell Psychic Guy to drop apple in hand. Psychic guy chooses another. Non Psychic Guy buys rotten apple.

Driving Home. Non Psychic Guy is cut off by 2 people, tail gated by 3 more, curses frequently and by the time he is home he is worn out. Psychic Guy runs into the same lousy drivers and calls them assholes. Guides chip in with helpful comment to say, “Everybody has one.” Psychic Guy realizes he is being a jerk and ends up laughing at himself.

It just takes the edge off.

“Most Haunted” TV Show

2009-08-21T20:46:00.000-07:00

What is this?

Eeeeeek! #$@#$! What? What? I can’t see anything. (Screen is dark….neither can the viewer). Eeeeek! !#$%$# Wooosh! $!@#% Something pinched me! What? What? If you can hear us make a sound. Boom. Eeeeeek!

“Most Haunted” is a regularly viewed show in our house. I was diligently updating my blogs (having been most lax about it the past month) and heard the above dialogue from the living room. I ventured out to see what was going on. It's an interesting show.

Chocolate

2009-07-31T06:39:00.000-07:00

Do you have something that tempts you? Something that when it is right smack dab in front of you that you find any sense of being in control of your own urges go straight down the drain?

There are those who might say, “No, nothing does that to me. I am always in control of what I do, of what I think, of what I put in my mouth.”

I speak of chocolate cravings. I also speak of the time of the month. Used to be there were times when I couldn’t think of anything else but having a piece of chocolate. And, it wasn’t as though just one piece of chocolate was going to stop the craving. I suppose that’s why they made Hershey Kisses. You sort of thought you might be able to stop at one and if you did, why, no harm done. It doesn’t work that way. That’s why they don’t sell cigarettes singly. If you’re going to have one, folks, you’re going to be hooked. Anyway, I don’t know that there have been any studies done between cigarette smoking and a woman’s time of the month. Perhaps there should be.

Back to the chocolate. I realize now as I’m moving rapidly into menopause that the chocolate cravings I used to have really were cravings. I don’t have them anymore. It’s the strangest thing, but all the time I was younger and had my menses I denied that I had anything that smacked of a chocolate craving. Now, that I don’t have them at all I can see with the much better vision of hindsight that I did indeed have chocolate cravings.

Satisfying those cravings didn’t hurt anything as far as I can tell. But, the surprising thing to me now was that they really were tied to the movement of the moon and not to some defect in character I had to overcome.

On The Importance Of Weighing Yourself After You Have A Dump

2009-05-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

In our house my husband and I weigh ourselves a lot. Personally, I weigh myself every day. Other people tend to think this practice is obsessive. All I know is that if I miss weighing myself I am also in danger of having my weight creep up with a vengeance. I have an eating disorder and I keep it under control by weighing every day. My husband also weighs himself, though I’m not sure he does it every day.

That said, I weighed myself this morning before I’d had my dump. This violates the number one rule in our house of when you weigh yourself in the morning, but I was in a hurry. I recorded the weight and moved on with my morning routine.

Eventually, nature called and after I was done I figured I’d weigh myself again. It could be like a scientific experiment, before dump weight and after dump weight. DeeDude refers to this as BDW and ADW. He said ADW is what you want to do.

Lo and behold there was a 6 ounce difference in the recorded weights. DeeDude was passing by the bathroom right then and I called him in to see the results of the experiment. His comment was, “I always knew you were full of shit.”

Ham Psychic Hit

2009-05-30T06:50:00.000-07:00

Yesterday morning I made my lunch for work. It was a very simple ham sandwich: ham, cheese, butter and bread. The ham DeeDude got for us at Costco are humongo slices, way too large for one sandwich. So, I thought I’d use some of the remaining ham to sit on the English muffins I planned to have for breakfast. The ham sat on the plate and as I looked at it I got a very clear image in my head of one of the cats up on the counter licking away at my ham. I shook my head and thought to myself, “how silly you are.”

Right.

So, I turned from my odd vision to busy myself in the refrigerator getting out my English muffin. As I shut the door and turned around I saw Shelby, one of our cats, industriously licking away at my ham.

That was a psychic hit.

My next inclination was to eat the ham anyway. Kitty licks don’t bother me all that much, though she had managed to cover the entire bit even before I could shoo her off of the counter. I figured if I was going to do that I really ought to rinse it off. Then, it came to me that the ham was hers not mine. I moved with that one and parceled it out to all the cats.

Sam wasn’t around though and as I neared the end of the slice I figured she was just going to have to miss this particular treat. But, she showed up right as I had two bits left. She moved right into drinking at the water dish and seemed to be real busy. I had things to do and didn’t want to wait for her to notice I had a couple of treats of ham for her.

Now, Samantha is a funny cat. She grew up to be a no human contact cat inside the house. Outside she’s fine and you can pet her and pull on her tail as she welcomes you home and escorts you up the steps. But, once you get inside the house you better not touch her because she’s lightning quick and will turn and claw the living daylights out of you if you’re not careful.

So, she is taking her own sweet time having a drink and I want to get rid of this ham. I poked her in the side to get her attention. I was taking a chance, but it worked. She turned to see who dared to poke her and saw the ham. She gave it a careful kitty sniff to make sure it was okay and I figured she was all set to get it. I released it and it dropped to the bottom of the water dish.

I have never seen such a study in consternation ever in a cat as she closed in on the surface of the water dish, like Snoopy used to do in the cartoons, and studied that bit of ham sitting under 2 inches of water. I fished it out for her and gave her the other piece, but the whole episode was interesting to me and certainly a nice way to start my day.

Cross Blog

2009-04-25T07:13:00.000-07:00

An introduction to this photo. I have a book blog going where I review the books I read. I mostly find them at the library. This morning I wrote a review for "A is for Alibi" by Sue Grafton. I absolutely love the Alaphabet mysteries. The heroine is Kinsey Millhone. Anyway, what I've been doing lately is to illustrate each review with a picture I take myself rather than snagging one off of the internet all the time. I've been trying to get our cats involved too.

So, Miss Mattie here is one of the rejects. Even though this was a sort of cute situation where she's trying to bite the book mark I'd made and stuck in the book it came out kind of scary looking. But, I still wanted to show her off.

Happy Saturday everybody.

Being Psychic Didn't Help Here

2009-04-12T06:32:00.000-07:00

You know it’s time to vacuum your house when you come home from a visit with a friend to discover a piece of kitty litter stuck to your forehead….and she doesn’t have cats…you do.

Online Kaleidoscope - ZE Frank

2009-04-09T19:30:00.000-07:00

This is a kick. I'm always on the lookout for neat things to do online. This is a kaleidoscope. Go to the root directory for lots and lots of things to do to waste time and have fun.

http://www.zefrank.com/dtoy_vs_byokal/index.html

And, the man in motion at TED.

Our Governor

2009-03-29T07:40:00.001-07:00

Two Elderly Women Fighting

2009-03-07T06:13:00.000-08:00

Where I Get Busy

2009-02-25T07:03:00.000-08:00

So, on my week off I’ve been trying to do things that are fun interspersed with projects/chores that have been too long ignored. Yesterday, after my dental cleaning, I popped over to the shopping center a couple of blocks away and bought two pair of shoes at the Payless. They were having a buy one get the second pair 50% off, which was a nice deal. I have been wearing rubbery garden clogs for several years and because I’m diabetic I wear white socks. They look silly. I’ve also been losing a bit of weight and the jeans I wear every day to work are getting baggier and baggier looking. Altogether not a real fashion look and certainly not good office wear. Since I’m moving into a position to be our office manager I figured I should look a bit spiffier, so I was pleased to find the shoes.

Next stop was Sears. They were having a sale on a lot of clothing and I found some black slacks…a step up from my grungy jeans. Turns out they didn’t fit and I had to move DOWN a size. Wooo!!!! So, I bought 4 pair at $19 each. It sort of bit into the checking account, but I figured I need them now. Two pair in black, one in blue and one in brown. They didn’t have any woman’s petite sizes, so I’ll need to hem them…unless the shoes I got lift me up high enough that the hems don’t drag.

Then, I went to Oakland’s China Town. It was a bear finding parking, but I finally managed it. I almost didn’t go because my hip was hurting by then with all the walking I’d done, but I’m glad I did. I popped into a few grocery stores. I got a couple of barbeque pork buns, my favorite. DeeDude hasn’t found his yet. He didn’t get home until 10 PM last night and I was already asleep, so I’ll tell him about it this morning and if he isn’t interested….It’s mine!

In one of the stores I purchased some dried plum bits. The package was $5 so it wasn’t something to sneeze at. I had absolutely no idea what these things were going to taste like, but there was a Guide at my elbow in the store urging me to put back the candied ginger I had in my basket and go with the plums instead. I do listen these days when they make suggestions and we ended up with the plums. I had one last night. Very intensely sweet so you don’t need to eat a lot of them at once. DeeDude tried one last night and when I asked him how he liked it said he didn’t care for it. Which leads me to this morning’s project:

I haven’t put anything up on Spirited Recipes in awhile and I think it would be cool to collaborate with the Guides on something to make using the plums. Also, DeeDude said that I ruined a block of Lucky brand cream cheese. He always says for me to get the Philadelphia brand, but I persist in trying to save money. Anyway, I was moved to sweeten the cheese with some Agave syrup. That went over like a fart in church, so maybe I could use that in whatever we’re going to do with the plums.

2009-02-21T05:46:00.000-08:00

This is a photo of a flower I took recently from one of the bouquets DeeDude got for me. He doesn't wait for special occasions.

I am on vacation for the entire next week. Wooo Wooo Happy Happpy Happy. Plan to do a lot of reading, taking naps, lots of writing and working on Talking to Spirit. New flower picture...learning about Photoshop. Consolidating and streamlining the menu. Cutting out all the verbiage from the front page and finding places for it within the site.

There is a lot more work, but if I can get it started this week it will be easier for me to continue working on it once I'm back to work again. It's been such an overwhelming project that I just couldn't seem to get started on it properly. One of the major holdups was working with my blue flower in Photoshop. I never really learned the program and that, right there, is the problem. Spent about 5 hours or so on it this last week after work every evening hammering away at it.

This is what I've got so far and somehow it doesn't quite please me yet.

A Swashbuckling Funny

2009-02-08T07:27:00.000-08:00

This is a little insight into how I do my psychic channeling. It isn’t something that takes place in a specified area; it’s all the time. So, to lead into this recounting a bit of background info; it used to be that I thought best when I was smoking a cigarette. Then, some 9 years ago I quit. I needed a new thinking place and oddly enough that became my bathroom. In the bathroom you’ve got a bit of privacy. There aren’t that many distractions and I’ve also heard some writers say some of their best ideas come while they were in the shower.

Anyway, this morning I was sitting on the pot. I am reading a terrific romance by Nora Roberts called “Charmed and Enchanted”. It’s one of those 2 books in one and I am into the second one, “Enchanted”. The heroine has had a bit of a problem with realizing her dreams. I know I used to have the same sort of problem. Anyway, I set the book aside to finish up and my thoughts drifted to something I might write about.

Realizing Dreams.

I was wondering about unrealistic dreams people sometimes have and, how they might realize those dreams even though the dreams might be unrealistic. The example that came to me was somebody who wanted to be a pirate. I thought of myself. I work a 40 hour a week job in an office that has nothing at all to do with my psychic self and yet I feel fulfilled as a psychic. I don’t yearn to surround myself with other psychics or with things psychic, but still am wonderfully happy. How could somebody with unrealized dreams, which can certainly make for a great deal of frustration in somebody’s life, somehow come to terms with the idea that they can’t leave their 8 to 5 job to become a pirate and yet have that very same dream fulfilled?

The answer, I considered, might be more along the lines where they immerse themselves in things piratical. They read a lot about pirates, both non fiction and fiction. They could watch a lot of pirate movies. My mind was on a roll with this and I was struggling like a hen about to lay an egg with my next example when Seth, my guide, said, “And, they could go around saying, Yar.” I snorted and laughed at the same time, something a pirate would never do. And that is a quiet look into my life.

Trying to Write

2009-01-27T07:38:00.001-08:00

There are two ways to get things done. You can wait for inspiration to strike or you can just hold your nose and plunge into the project.

I tend to wait.

This doesn’t always accomplish very much.

So, today, I decided to just plunge in. The point of the exercise is to write 3 very small articles for my next newsletter. Sometimes I am so full of ideas I just can’t write them down fast enough. Other times, like lately, I’m veering off in other directions of interest and the urge to write just isn’t there. This, however, just is not going to work because I have made a commitment to myself that I will write these articles each month.

They don’t need to be long, just about a normal blog length. Say something in a very short period of time and be sincere about it.

I’m waiting.

Right, still nothing coming. Well, I suppose I could call this a blog entry on the process of creativity and out of it gather 3 weeney newsletter articles. I have about 250 people who have signed up to receive my email. I must not fail them now.

Okay, so let’s get to basics. I’m a psychic. Or, at least a so-so one. I do, however kick ass in the channeling department. I’ve never really thought of that as being psychic, though other people have assured me that it is. I just sort of accepted it as a fabulous thing that happened to me. But, again, that’s got nothing to do with my newsletter.

Anyway, what I think, the people who are reading my newsletter expect is guidance. Why else does anybody come to read my stuff? I’m certainly not a riveting writer. I’m not a fabulous psychic. I do care, though. And, I can channel. I do know what it’s like to talk to Folk in Spirit. This morning I was getting on my scales. This is not normally a fun thing to do, but I do it every day. It’s a necessary evil for me. I am not a normally skinny person. So, I don’t think like one. I think like a fat person and anybody who is a fat person knows that it’s important to get on the scales every day whether you want to or not. Why? Because if you don’t the next time you do climb on you will discover, to your dismay, that you’ve suddenly packed on 15 pounds and you really, honestly don’t remember how that could have happened. I know. It’s happened to me. Anyway, everyday on the scales. And, for some reason this morning I started cursing even before my feet landed on the scale. Maybe I stepped on some kitty litter. I don’t even remember. Anyway, I said, “G** D*** it. C***** Almighty.” And, somebody said, “What?”

You don’t know how fast that can take the wind out of your sails. Anyway, I apologized. I don’t really think they minded so much as wanted to bring to my attention my candy mouth. I mean, technically, I really should learn to keep that under control. Why? Well, I just think it would be a more mature and psychologically sound practice.

So, maybe I could write a short ditty on saying bad words? And, how their negative energies start affecting things around you. And, people around you. When I was a kid I can remember wanting to curse like my father. I’d be more like him. I’d be more grown up. Later I settled upon smoking and drinking to prove my advanced years. So, that’s a thought. Well, folks, I gotta go to work. So, in the absence of anything more productive I will post this and pick up the threads tonight when I get home from being a formerly cranky secretary. I’m not anymore because the Prozac is working wonders. Tah…

Stop Smoking

2009-01-18T10:45:00.000-08:00

Ask me what one of the hardest things I ever did in my life was and I will tell you it was when I quit smoking. I also know that if I was able to do it so can you.

Smoking is a filthy habit. I know because I smoked for 30 years. I loved every puff. Although it’s been 9 years since I quit smoking (a pack and a half a day) I still crave one every once in awhile. Here are some of the things I learned when I was able to finally stop smoking.

Every time you quit and do not succeed it is another step in the process of quitting. You didn’t fail. You took another step. I must have quit 120 times before it finally worked.

The early days are hard. Do a new trick each day to distract yourself. On the first day I drank black coffee and sucked mentholated cherry cough drops. This resulted in a horrible taste in my mouth but was similar to having just had a cigarette.

Other days I chewed gum all day until my temples were sore from all the chewing.

Other days I sucked cough drop after cough drop.

The most intense time of it lasted about a week. It might not have been the most ideal way to get through that week, but it worked for me. Another thing I did was to reward myself for going through such a horrible experience and I practiced shopping therapy for awhile.

And, although I wouldn’t admit it at the time I did sneak a few cigarettes along the way. Trying to quit this terribly addictive disease was really horrible and there were times when I just couldn’t stand it anymore and I snuck a few. That lasted maybe the first month or so.

After that I was over the worst of it.

On the bright side? Food suddenly tasted wonderful. I mean I couldn’t believe how good a simple bowl of corn flakes tasted. Everything I ate was absolutely delicious. I ate a lot. And, gained 50 pounds, which I’m still struggling to lose. So, if you can see that you’ve set your feet upon a path of weight gain in the early days you can also counter that with an increase in exercise. The endorphins produced with the exercise will help with the whole process too.

I stopped coughing. I didn’t realize it but I had a smoker’s cough for years. I just thought I coughed a lot and, of course, while I was smoking I wouldn’t have admitted to it in a million years. There was an awful lot of denial going on.

Another plus was that I smelled better. On the downside I could smell everybody else better too. I had a particularly nauseating moment once on a crowded bus when one of the passengers smelled like he hadn’t had a bath in 6 months.

My car and my clothes smelled better too. I just had not realized how the stink of cigarettes had clung to everything around me.

They are passing lots of very strict laws in California. I believe you can’t smoke within 20 feet of a business. You can’t smoke in businesses. You can’t smoke in apartments anymore. You can’t smoke in restaurants or bars. You can’t smoke outside if your smoke drifts into anybody else’s house. You can’t smoke in the presence of a minor in a moving vehicle.

Look on the internet to get a counter sort of program for yourself. I have something called LastQuit. I don’t think it’s available anymore, but I still have it there to tell me based on my smoking a pack and a half every day how I’ve been doing:

How Long It’s Been Since I Quit: 9 Years, 3 Months, 4 Weeks, 12 Hours, 26 Minutes and 19 Seconds.
How Many Cigarettes I Have Not Smoked: 102,166
How Much Money I Have Saved: $21,403.95
How Much Life I Have Reclaimed: 11 Months, 2 Weeks, 5 Days, 17 Hours and 50 Minutes.

Good luck to anybody out there who is contemplating or who is already in the throws of quitting smoking. I will be thinking of you.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-25T06:35:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas to you. However you celebrate I hope you have fun.

For The Birds

2008-12-23T19:14:00.001-08:00

What "Pauline" Means

2008-12-13T14:13:00.000-08:00

You Are Charming and Eloquent

You are influential and persuasive. You tend to have a lot of power over people. Generally, you use your powers for good. You excel at solving other people's problems. Occasionally, you do get a little selfish and persuade people to do things that are only in your interest.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection. You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive. You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are a very lucky person. Things just always seem to go your way. And because you're so lucky, you don't really have a lot of worries. You just hope for the best in life. You're sometimes a little guilty of being greedy. Spread your luck around a little to people who need it.

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow. You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily. Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing. You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long. You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are very intuitive and wise. You understand the world better than most people. You also have a very active imagination. You often get carried away with your thoughts. You are prone to a little paranoia and jealousy. You sometimes go overboard in interpreting signals.

You are friendly, charming, and warm. You get along with almost everyone. You work hard not to rock the boat. Your easy going attitude brings people together. At times, you can be a little flaky and irresponsible. But for the important things, you pull it together.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Time Slipping Away

2008-12-12T06:45:00.000-08:00

You know how time can slip away from you? I realized this morning that it had been almost 3 months since I had written in one of my blogs. My first reaction was panic. This is a good blog. The material I put there is almost a cut above the material I use for my other blogs. I was appalled. Then, a wave of resentment crashed over me because work (my daytime job) has been absolutely frenetic. I mean it is insane. And, it just got more insane yesterday. I keep saying to myself, “I’m lucky to have a job. I’m lucky to have a job.” But, the focus of my attention has been there and obviously not where I would like it to be.

So, what to do? I think I need to devise better ways to calm down. I also need to loosen up on what I put in that blog. People are still reading it. It’s got a really nice page rank on it. But, as I’ve allowed more stress into my life I’ve also sort of frozen up as to my writing output. It’s got to be good or it doesn’t get in. Well, that sort of counts out 75% of what I’ve been whining about lately.

I fell back on the old adage my mother used to say to us, “If you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” That’s me. Clammed up these days.

This isn’t good. So, I’m not exactly coming up with a new resolution sooner than I need to…I’m just recognizing that I’ve let a good blog down, I’ve let people who are wanting to learn how to channel down, and I’ve let myself down.

I will make the time to come up with something of quality for Learn to Channel that I can post this weekend.

Cheryl Wheeler - Is it Peace or is it Prozac?

2008-11-25T06:55:00.000-08:00

My 200th Post - About Cleaning

2008-11-23T08:07:00.000-08:00

I’ve never managed the knack of how my mother kept house, though my husband and I did develop what we call Company Coming Cleaning in the early days of our marriage. It’s actually pretty simple. You start at one end of your place and work your way to the other end picking up things as quickly as possible. What you do with the stuff you pick up is you throw it into closets as you go. In 20 minutes you can get your house into a presentable position for company to come calling.

What do you do about dust? Dim the lights. No, I’m kidding. Get the canned air that you have for your computer and aim it at some of the book shelves. If there is time do a little vacuuming. Spray a little air freshener around. Before you begin the pick up empty the cat’s litter box of anything she’s left there. At the end of your whirl wind cleaning she will have left another deposit in the clean box that you can pick up too.

If you don’t have any air freshener you could sprinkle a little cinnamon into a saucepan half full of water. Set it on a burner on the stove and the house will be on its way to smelling better by the time you are finished picking up. If you go the cinnamon route you should probably dispense with the air freshener. Too many smells can be annoying rather than evocative.

By the way, this is my 200th post.

Musing

2008-11-22T18:54:00.000-08:00

When tears rise up
they burn for a moment
or two
But, if the tears that rise up
are there because of some bittersweet
memory
or two
Think of the sweet part
If you can

Life is hard and
Life is cold
But, life however it
Turns out
When you share it
With those
You love
Is a life well lived

Logan

2008-11-14T17:47:00.000-08:00

It's been awhile since I've posted here. I've been sort of down in the dumps. Coming out of it now. Bless Prozac. Some odd side effects, but I just tell people it's the medicine.

In any case, I wanted to share this video with you. I just saw it at d76blade and wanted to pass it along to my own readers. It really struck a nerve for me. Perhaps it will for you too.

Pick a Day....Any Day

2008-10-26T07:47:00.000-07:00

This morning I got up at my regular time. I was a little off because Shelby, our smallest cat, didn’t make her usual foray into our bedroom to bat at the pictures and walk all over us. I figured she was still pissed off at me for putting her flea collar back on. Either that or she was having a reaction to it and wasn’t feeling well. I decided, first chance I got, to take it off of her.

Anyway, I have a doctor’s appointment Monday morning so I took an especial care with my toilet just because my mother always said you should when you are seeing your doctor. My second “off” for the day was when I tested my blood sugar and the date showed as 10/26. I thought to myself, “I thought it was the 27th. Something must have gone wrong with my meter.” Later on I was wondering how long it’s been off on the date, why I hadn't noticed before this and how that’s going to affect all my readings. Also, when I recorded my weight this morning I noticed that I hadn’t recorded it Friday morning, but then I did a lot of things different Friday because I didn’t go into work that day. Just a nice day off.

So, I got dressed, made my lunch and fixed a bite of breakfast for myself. I’m watching the clock because my appointment is at 8:30 am. Figuring on traffic, finding a parking place and anticipating a bit of a line to get processed at the doctor’s office I thought I would leave the house about 7:15.

Minutes before I was to go I sat down with a piece of toast and the rest of my coffee and flipped on the television. I wanted to catch the headlines before I left. I put it on channel 2 for the KTVU news and watched a man and a lady working a vacuum cleaner all over a rug with tons of crap to suck up. It went on and on; far longer than a normal commercial. This is where I thought I’d landed on the wrong channel. I hit the guide button on the remote and saw it was paid programming. It was channel 2 all right, but no news. So, I looked at the other programs. This wasn’t right at all. There should be news on the first 5 channels. You know what I thought? I thought there had been a terrorist attack and television programming had been screwed up. That’s what I thought. I mean, my heart was in my throat. I started looking at the other listings and the word “Sunday” caught my eye. That’s when it started dawning on me that maybe it wasn’t Monday after all.

I was so excited to have another day off where I didn’t have to go to work, but could do anything my heart desired. I’m still jazzed.

Yum....Coffee

2008-10-19T08:06:00.000-07:00

Our coffee pot may be on the fritz. For some time now water would puddle on the counter. I had thought it was just us not being all that careful as we poured water into the well. Yesterday, after my husband insisted something was wrong with it, I watched water trickling from it as it brewed a cup.

My husband and I drink different brands of coffee. Our coffee maker is only a 4 cup job and once one person gets their coffee then the other person brews their particular brand. It might sound like a pain in the behind, but we’ve gotten used to this routine.

A long time ago I became entranced with using a French Coffee Press. They had one on an episode of, “As Time Goes By” and I thought it was really neat. I bought one. However, there were always a few grounds that slipped through. The advertised number of cups per pot wasn’t enough to fill our big mugs, the coffee cooled off quickly and eventually the carafe broke. I hadn’t gotten another because of all those problems, but I still considered it to be sort of neat.

Then, farting around on Amazon one day I saw that folks had started making thermos versions of the coffee presses.

And, this morning I purchased a cornflower blue version by Planetary Designs from Amazon. This looks really neat and if it works well I will get another one so we can both have our own.

Celtic Tranqulity Meditation

2008-10-12T15:50:00.001-07:00

This is Probably Something I Can Work On

2008-10-05T07:11:00.001-07:00

One of the things I like to do occasionally is to just pick up and leave. I think this feeling to flee comes from my years as an Army Brat when I could look forward to a move every year or so. What all this moving did was to allow me to run away from problems rather than to try to sort them out. Consequently there is a deeply bred abhorrence in me to face up to situations which require me to have some backbone. Sorry, I’m a wimp. Wimpy Psychic at your service.

So, yesterday I had a situation where I became absolutely furious at the fuckups at my HMO. Kaiser is switching to a more computerized, less paperwork sort of system. The doctor orders labs and the patient shows up in the laboratory for blood draws.

It actually didn’t work that way. And, not only that but I think they did the wrong tests for me. The results are in already and these are tests I’ve never heard of. I mean they could have changed the tests, but I think the lady just picked stuff out to do based upon me telling her I needed diabetic tests done.

So, not only was the trip to the lab all screwed up, but the appointment I thought was in place for Friday of this week was non-existent. Did I have the paper confirming the appointment? No. I didn’t think I needed it. I didn’t realize it would become so important.

On the face of it these are small potato sorts of things. I made another appointment for the end of this month. I’m figuring it will be okay for work. That way I go to the doctor on Monday and the dentist on Tuesday. Also, not something I’m all that thrilled about, but what the heck. It’s only a minor inconvenience that sort of flared up into something that had me livid for several hours.

Oh, and the day began with me spraying gasoline all over the side of my car at our local service station. I should have known better because this is the same pump that has done that to me before. Also, there is no getting a receipt out of that particular pump. Twits. A little Chinese lady came out to see why I wasn’t moving along and why I had pen and paper out writing down what I’d pumped, the price and how much it cost off of the readings of the pump. I tried to pantomime to her what had happened. She just smiled at me pleasantly and intimated that I didn’t know how to pump gas.

I should go check my biorhythms. I’ll bet something sucked yesterday. By the way, if you'd like to check out your own biorhythms I've got a link at www.talkingtospirit.com down toward the bottom of the page. And, I'd be honored if you'd stop by and see what I do when I'm being psychic.

My Left Boob

2008-09-26T20:37:00.000-07:00

Well, this is a new wrinkle to menopause. My boob hurts. Sharp, shooting pains. Off and on. Lots yesterday. Not so many today. What gives with that? Doing a bit of research on the internet come to find out it might be hormonal. Lovely. What nex?

Caution - Funny Video (On the Raunchy Side)

2008-09-20T05:45:00.000-07:00

Oh, funny. I'm looking for new videos for www.zdaily.com this morning and came upon this one. I'm not going to add it to the collection because it's a bit on the raunchy side, but I thought it was hilarious. Enjoy.

Toothpaste

2008-09-20T05:23:00.000-07:00

Toothpaste can be used to treat your pimples. Zap the zit by applying a tiny dab of white cream toothpaste. Best to apply it in the evening or when you aren’t planning on going out in public.

Toothpaste can also be used (the white kind) to spackle nail holes in the walls of your apartment. When we were kids that was our job as we got ready to leave one set of quarters for another. Once things are dry you can paint right over where the holes were.

Using the baking soda kind of toothpaste apply to a CD or a DVD that’s got a scratch on it. Rub gently, wipe with a clean cloth and the scratch is repaired.

Relieve bug bites. Good for bee stings and for mosquito bites.

Use toothpaste and your husband’s toothbrush to clean your jewelry. Likewise, you can use toothpaste to clean the faucet and handles made of chrome in the bathroom. Only use your husband’s toothbrush for this job if you’re really ticked off at him. You can also use toothpaste to sparkle up the mirror. It’s got a nice side effect of rendering the mirror fog free when you take a shower.

Toothpaste really freshens up a person's breath. It stands to reason that it would do the same for your dog who has really raunchy doggy breath. You want to be careful, though, not to mask what might be a serious problem for Poochie. Could be they've got some bad teeth issues, or general health problems, so if their breath is knock you on your back bad do take them to the vet for a checkup.

Here’s a fun way to get your kids to brush their teeth. Kids learn by watching, so demonstrate how it is that you want them to brush. Now, for the fun part…really get a mouthful of foam going, like you’re a mad dog. And, for the next few weeks, every time they brush their teeth you brush yours with them. That way there won’t be any backsliding or wetting of the toothbrush for show like we used to do when we were kids.

Christian The Lion - Video

2008-09-07T08:34:00.000-07:00

I guarantee there won't be a dry eye in the house after you've watched this one. In addition to the clip below you can go to YouTube and watch an entire movie in 9 parts about Christian the lion. There is even a 2 part interview of the original owners, John Rendall and Anthony Bourke 35 years after. The interviewer asks them towards the end of the clip, "What are we supposed to learn from all of this?" Someone in Spirit said to me right then, "That animals have souls too."

Apply Heat and Then Shake

2008-09-06T04:56:00.000-07:00

We have been having hot weather around here. I’m not sure exactly what, but night before last I went out to our patio around 10 pm and it was 80 degrees F. That’s hot. The only time, though, that it really bothers me is in the late part of the afternoon at work. I just slow down and get really stupid. Sorry. Can’t help it. It’s hot. We all try to do as much of our work, the work where we really have to apply ourselves in the cool of the day. Anyway, it won’t last long.

And, last night we had an earthquake. You’d think after having lived here all these years I’d have gotten accustomed to them, but every time I’m like a deer in the headlights. DeeDude was off covering a ball game. He was there to write a story and take pictures. He’s got a new job at The Alameda Sun (shameless plug!). He said nobody there felt it. I sure felt it here.

It was a 4.0 centered about 10 miles deep about 3 miles northeast of Alamo. I suppose that’s about 15 miles from here. I went to the USGS site for quakes just now to see that 11,112 people have reported their experiences with the quake. It was classified as light to moderate; I’ve heard both terms used. I, as noted above, was scared shitless. And, do you think I did the proper thing for an earthquake like run to a doorway? No. I got up and I sat down again holding onto the table. Our two parakeets had gone ballistic just seconds before it started. I remember wondering what the hell was wrong and then it hit. Early bird warning.

It seemed to last most of 10 seconds. Rolling. Lateral movement. Jolted. The whole house moved. Yikes. I know me. I’m going to be washing my hair in a hurry for the next few weeks. That always happens. Where’s the worst place you could be during an earthquake? Lathered up, soap in your eyes, buck naked in the shower. Right, I can’t imagine a worse place. Unless you’re taking a dump.

Today is my Birthday!

2008-09-01T17:54:00.000-07:00

Hey, today is my birthday. I'm 53 if anybody wants to know. I decided every day of our extended weekend was going to be a celebration. That's the new rule in our house....everybody gets more than one day to do neato stuff for their birthdays. DeeDude has his coming up next month.

Here is the bouquet of roses I got this morning! I was so surprised! We had steak last night and went out for Chinese dinner the evening before.

I'm putting off my birthday present. DeeDude has promised me that he will help me get the study organized so I can work on my crafts. I'm really looking forward to it.

And, lovely, lovely, I had a birthday dream this morning: I was in a house, a new house and locked myself out. I was really irritated at myself because I’d always been the one to caution people against doing that and here I went and did it myself. It was an apartment and I wandered downstairs to tell my story to some people there. They weren’t all that sympathetic. I looked at the clock and could see that my sister would be getting home in an hour’s time, so if I just waited around for a little bit she’d let me in. But, I thought I might check in the management’s office to see if they wouldn’t let me in. The problem as somebody told me was they were going to be asking to see some photo ID and not only had I no key I also had no identification on me.

So, I wandered away from the commotion of the folks there at the apartment, at my home.

I found myself at the top of a really steep hill. It was covered with snow and there were kids sledding and flying down the hill on the seats of their pants. I thought I might do that too. The attraction was a huge carnival or amusement arcade at the bottom of the hill out on a wharf. So, I slid partway down, but came upon two large pipes sticking out of the hill that I was likely to crash into. So, I stopped and carefully made my way past them and went on down the hill.

At the amusement place there were tons of people. All over the place. I was a little uncomfortable, but soon became used to having them all near me. I wanted to put my hands up against the back of somebody’s head. They were a little taken aback, but I asked them if I could try it. They said okay and as I took my hands away from their head I could see this wonderful light green light and stars sparkling on one of my hands. I wondered what it was. I showed it to them. Then, I said to them, let me try it again, but this time I want to do your shoulders. They agreed and I spent a bit more time on their head and then their shoulders. They turned around and said that they felt a little better.

I looked at my hands and both hands held more of the green light and sparkling stars. I said, “Here, let me try this. Let me play with this for a minute.” I cupped my hands as if I were making a snow ball. I then drew my cupped hands apart, put them back together again and drew them out farther and farther each time. I could feel the energies I had cupped in my hands growing stronger each time. Finally, I paused with my hands held maybe a foot apart from each other, one on top the other on the bottom still cupped and I was able to see things in the green light. The first thing I saw was a dollar bill sign: $. I said to the person: “You will be able to make a living here.” Then, I saw other things, things I don’t remember now, but I said them to the person: “You will be happy here.” Then, I saw all sorts of animals, all sorts of wonderful animals and I said, “Oh, look at all these animals.” I was so pleased to see them. It was delightful.

Went to the Zoo

2008-08-27T19:52:00.000-07:00

We went to the Oakland Zoo over the weekend. It was a terrific visit.

It's a Miracle - Video

2008-08-27T07:14:00.001-07:00

Old Dog

2008-08-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

I’ve never been a person to learn everything there is to know about something in one sitting. On the one hand I thought for years that I must be dumber than dirt. On the other hand I’m sort of coming around to the idea that I think I just learn in stages. Same thing goes for healing.

So, what sparked this line of thought? I cannot, for the life of me, figure out how to intersect two things in either Photoshop or in XaraX. Both of these are nice graphic software programs and I’m a ditz in either one I’m working in. So, rather than get the book out….God forbid….I surfed around on the internet thinking somebody has put something out there into cyberspace about the topic at hand. Well, I got a bit. Except, I’m working with older versions of these program and maybe that’s why the directions won’t work? Who knows. I’d had enough and figured I’d go online to see what’s interesting at Costco since DeeDude and I are heading that way on Friday. It’s a few days before my birthday and maybe we can pick up something nice for dinner and maybe, just maybe, something interesting for my birthday too. Otherwise, DeeDude has promised me that he will help me to organize all my craft things in the study. Right now they are scattered all over the house and I just don’t have a good handle on what I’ve got in the line of craft supplies.

The other thing that sort of intersects into the one hand dumber than dirt other hand slow learner is my jaw. Or, rather what is being called my TMJ. It still hurts. My bite is back again, but it’s a pretty hard bite. My back teeth really, really meet. More so than any of the others. Which is why I sort of come to during the day with me rocking them back and forth. I’d better watch it or sure as shit I’m going to crack them. Anyway, I got impressions made on Friday for upper and lower teeth for a bite guard. Or, it might be a splint. I’m not sure if they are the same or different appliances.

The other advice I’m getting:

Relax more
Deep breathing
Touch tongue to roof of mouth when at rest
Don’t open mouth wider than a thumb’s width when yawning, laughing, coughing, sneezing or singing
Valium only for a little while
Alternate hot and cold
Massage affected area
Eat soft foods
No chewy stuff
No hard crunchy foods like nuts or popcorn
No food that requires prolonged chewing like hard crusts of bread, tough meat or raw vegetables
No chewing gum ever again
Cut down on caffeine
Do not bite your lower lip
Do not bite your fingernails or on pencils
Do not rest your jaw on your hand
Advil or ibuprophen is okay
Sleep on back
Try to avoid stressful situations whenever possible

My sister told me she knows one lady who must wear her bite guard while driving. I got a vision of a croakie attached to the bite guard…sort of like how glasses hang around your neck when you’re not wearing them.

I Love Saturday

2008-08-23T09:35:00.000-07:00

Ascribing to the belief that the universe will provide for you, right up front, in your face and on your doorstep that information you need to carry on (providing, of course, that you are paying attention), then everything that I read is of benefit to me in one way or another.

So, why did I just now open that book (about losing weight) and the first ding-donged words are, “Read this book cover to cover.” I couldn’t slam the book shut fast enough.

Which brings up my own personal credo. I like to be able to read a book that purports to teach and instruct, after the first few necessary basic chapters are out of the way, in a random fashion. It’s just my style. I want to be able to write that way too.

I am going to write a cohesive book. It will flow from one chapter to the next. But, if somebody were to just flip the ding-donged thing open at a random place whatever is staring them in the face will be helpful. You might ask what book I’m writing. Well, ask away. I don’t currently have one going, though the way I’m writing this morning I’ve got a feeling there’s certainly one in the works.

I had started one November before last which was totally channeled information about creativity. That one was actually pretty interesting. Took the wind out of my sales because writing a book in the best of times is an exhausting proposition. Doing it while you are channeling is doubly so. But, there is that book.

There’s also the book I’d like to write about learning how to channel. My Learn to Channel Blog has a lot of information in it. So does Talking to Spirit. But, it hasn’t been pulled together. So, I could do that.

And, there’s the book where I just want to rip loose. Fiction. Just rip loose. That sounds to me to be the most fun one of the three to do.

Anyway, I’ve got some errands to do this morning. Curves has taken too much money and I need to go talk to them about that. We’re having a company picnic tomorrow and I haven’t yet figured out what I want to bring. I’m thinking fruit would be a nice healthy thing to do, but it’s not going to involve too much time and effort. A plus when you don’t have any time, but I’m thinking I really should put a bit of thought into it. Peanut butter. I’ve got tons of peanut butter. I could make cookies. That would be a good thing to do. Something to think about. I’ve got books due at the library, so I want to go drop them off. And, I really, really should write the articles for September’s newsletter at Talking to Spirit. Busy day.

Hope your day is productive too.

Relax Already

2008-08-23T05:53:00.001-07:00

Being busy, productive and interested in things evidently is not enough. Seems that I need to learn how to relax. Used to be I relaxed by smoking and by drinking and we ain’t talking Diet Coke here either. The deal is that I no longer smoke and I no longer drink. This morning I lay in bed and my guide said to me to begin a meditation. Like a ditz I really don’t know how. Much as I tell people how all the time when it gets down to brass tacks I really suck at meditation. But, since I need to know how to relax now (ding-donged TMJ playing havoc with my life) I was willing to give it a whirl.

They said imagine yourself on a path. Right away I could see this fine, baby fine green grass. I could feel that it was so soft to the touch and I marveled at it. But, it wasn’t a path, so I jerked myself back to being on a path. Lost the grass. Actually, lost the path. Start talking to the guides. I said, “This isn’t a path. That was a meadow.” They didn’t say anything. I turned my attention back to the meadow and decided maybe that’s where I was supposed to be. Then, I became aware of tears streaming down the sides of my face as I lay in bed.

And said, “I relax a little bit? Just a little bit and I start crying? What is going on with that?” Nothing. Nobody said anything.

So, I have something to think about now about how I must always be in some sort of constant state of alertness, constantly on guard, constantly busy, constantly held in such a rigid state of mind that the least little bit of relaxation sends me into tears? Yikes. I'll work on it.

Psychic and in the Dentist's Chair.

2008-08-22T21:48:00.000-07:00

Can’t get out of it. No different than anybody else. Damn jaw has twisted around and I am now diagnosed with TMJ. So, after having sucked on peanut and butter sandwiches for 2 weeks I sat in the dentist’s chair today to be fitted for a splint.

Shoved a gooey mess in a metal tray into the lower part of my mouth for an impression of that set of teeth. When that had hardened up enough did the same for the upper part. Anyway, this goopey mess squishes out of the tray and shoots into the back of my throat. We’re talking gag reflex here. I’m thinking if I start counting maybe by the time I get to 200 it’ll be finished. I start counting. This is when Spirit steps in. The guides are telling me now that it was my mother who was helping. I couldn’t tell at the time. But, she says to me, “Say a Hail Mary.” So, I did. Over and over and over again. I don’t know how many Hail Marys I cranked out. After awhile I sort of drifted into them and away from what was going on in my mouth which was a blessing, I have to tell you.

Once all of that is over I’m ready to leave. At this point nothing has changed with the way my teeth are meeting. They still only meet in the front. It’s like I don’t have any molars. They’re no help at all. It’s just my two front uppers meeting my two front lower teeth. That’s it. Just like a chipmunk.

But, we’re not done. The technician says, “Bite real hard on this.” I said, “What for?” She said, “Bite real hard and tell me when your first teeth touch.” I said, “Which teeth?” (Psychics are not known for always intuitively figuring out their own health matters.) She said, “Whichever two back teeth meet first.” I said, “It’s not going to happen biting down on that thing.” (It was a little cotton roll.) I said, “Here, this is what I’m going to have to do. It’s going to hurt like hell, but I’ll do it if this is what you want to have happen.” Impassively, she stands by waiting to see what I’m going to do.

So, I fisted up my hands and pushed my jaw back into alignment. I didn’t think they would want me to do that. She was all for it. I’m thinking she’s probably got a sadistic streak somewhere. I managed to squeak out the F word while I was manhandling the lower part of my face. Do you remember watching Mel Gibson in the first, “Lethal Weapon” movie when he put his dislocated shoulder back together again himself? Yeah, it felt like that. After I’d relocated my jaw I bit on the little cotton roll. The intention was to really wear out the jaw muscle so that they could take an impression of my mouth the way it was supposed to be.

But, magnifico, for the first time since the beginning of August I was able to experience a normal bite. My jaw and head hurt like the dickens right now, but hey, isn’t that what Advil is for? Also, we got the Valium going on too. I had to apologize at work to the ladies I work with today about all the inappropriate comments I’ve been making lately. There’s a reason I don’t drink anymore. Evidently, Valium might be right up there with making me a party animal.

Anyway, the Kaiser nurse told me to alternately apply heat and cold to my jaw. She said to do upper body stretching exercises because I’m so tense. She said to practice relaxation techniques and the last thing she said to me was to rest my tongue on the roof of my mouth. I had to puzzle that one over for a day or so before I figured it out. If your jaw is so screwed up that you can’t even close your mouth properly (which is what had happened to me) then keeping your tongue stuck to the roof of your mouth will force you to breath through your nose. If not you are in real danger of sucking in stray bugs.

Anyway, I figured since my jaw was realigned, even though it hurt like hell, I was going to splurge and have something I didn’t have to suck on for dinner. I made us a chicken salad with diced celery in it.

It’s interesting, but the technician at the dentist’s office told me that I could continue to push on my jaw when it went out of alignment. I’m thinking there’s something wrong with this advice, but will be returning in 2 or 3 weeks for my splint. What the difference is between a splint and a bite guard I’m not too clear about at this point. Will also be meeting with my regular doctor on Monday just as a precaution. If anybody has any stories to tell about their experiences with TMJ I’m all ears.

Where I Take a Valium

2008-08-16T14:24:00.000-07:00

So, I took a valium for the first time in my life. That was last night. Because my jaw really hurts and right now they’re thinking it is stress related. I’m thinking it’s probably something else, but for now I’m willing to play along with it.

What I’m thinking is that somehow I’ve got a trick jaw now. On the darker side there’s something growing in there that doesn’t belong, but until somebody x-rays my head or does an MRI we’re not going to know.

Until then, there’s valium and Advil.

Why I think I’ve got a trick jaw is that sometimes my bite is off and it really, really hurts to try to force my teeth to come together in the way they usually do when my mouth is shut. Easy, right? Wrong. It hurts.

So, the dentist said to me don’t take the valium on a weekend. This was because I took the day off yesterday and magically the horrid pain I was experiencing went away by the time I sat my sorry little (big) butt down in the dentist chair. I said, “It’s so strange. I mean, this really hurt yesterday, but when I woke up this morning it had gone away. Go figure. But, if I do this….(proceed to push my lower jaw in)….it hurts. And, this is where it did hurt….(shoving a finger into the latch system beside my ear where upper jaw bone meets lower jaw bone).” After I did those demonstrative moves the pain did return and I left the dentist’s office hurting. So, they told me to have some time for myself and try to relax more.

Now, my ear hurts too. Crap.

So, last night I took a valium. Even though it was the weekend I wanted to see how I reacted to it. I didn't want to be taking one Tuesday evening and then not be able to see straight on Wenesday at work.

My father used to take lots of valiums for his bad back and for his shoulder pain. He’d come home from work and take one and then we’d see him an hour later taking another one and so it would go all evening long. He also drank and it used to worry us, but he’d get mad at us when we said anything.

The valium I took didn’t seem to do a damn thing for me. I took it an hour ahead of when I took my nighttime meds and the only thing was that I felt a little sleepy.

Today, however, is an entirely different matter. I’m still in pain, but I’m loopy. And, I’m sleepy. I slept longer this morning than I normally do and I even went back to bed after breakfast for another couple of hours. It’s 2 in the afternoon and I still haven’t gotten dressed. I have had a shower, though and did manage after some effort to balance my neighbor’s checkbook. I still have our checkbook to balance and I may leave that for tomorrow when I’m a bit more on the ball.

Thank goodness I don’t have hemorrhoids or I’d be telling you about them.

Now, who wants a psychic reading?

An Engineer's Guide to Cats

2008-08-15T06:52:00.001-07:00

Can Spirit Hear You Grieving?

2008-08-11T19:54:00.000-07:00

I was poking around in my statistics for Talking to Spirit just now and had a look at the words people were using to find the site. One search stuck out like a sore thumb and I figured I might talk about it.

The person had asked the question: Can Spirit hear you grieving?

The answer to that is yes, but they don’t really care. Not in the sense that they want you to stop grieving for them. Just that those sorts of things are no longer important to them. They still love you, don’t get me wrong. But, they’re not all that worked up about you grieving.

How long you grieve for the person who has passed on is your business. You’ll work it out in your own time. But, think of how a parent feels when they’re watching their 3rd toddler learn to walk. The kid is all over the place like a drunken sailor. Many times they walk into walls and fall down. And, cry. Can the parents spare them this learning to walk thing? No. Just gotta keep walking into walls until you don’t do it anymore and can make your way across the room without running into something.

So, for those of you who are grieving? Your loved one can hear you. You can’t hear them, but they can hear you. Tell them how you feel. Do it quietly in your head or holler the walls down. Write to them in your journal. Letters to Mom or something like that. All the stuff you never thought to tell her. Tell her now. She can take it. And, she still loves you.

Work out your grief in your own way. For most people it takes time and even 15 and 20 years down the road when you figure you’re past it the grief will come up out of nowhere and blindside you, so in that sense it never does go away. But, you learn to cope with it. And, those blindside hits don’t happen as often as they did when your grief was a raw thing.

If you're interested I've got a page at Talking to Spirit about Grief. It might help and I'm sorry for your loss.

Oyster Stew for Lunch

2008-08-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

Waiter. There's something in my soup.

Part of the Process

2008-07-26T09:56:00.001-07:00

When you’ve got a recipe you have a bit of this, a bit of that and a nosh of another thing that when combined in a certain and specific way makes something. The order you put things in matters. What you do to them matters. What you put in the mix matters. Like if you were to make chocolate chip cookies, putting onions and garlic into them would be horrible. So, when you’re learning to be psychic, when you are encouraging that little wisp of psychic awareness farting around with things that have no bearing on being psychic just doesn’t add much. Like, you love to watch Jerry Springer: Jerry, Jerry, Jerry. Is this helpful? Does watching a lot of pain and embarrassment on television contribute to making you a more psychic person? I didn’t think so.

So, what does? Well, we’ve ruled out excessive watching of Jerry Springer (can you tell I’m not a fan?). What could you watch on television? Hauntings? Again, I’m not all that certain that’s a really terrific idea either. That’s low level stuff. Aim higher. Okay, let’s watch them say the rosary on channel 12. Nope, not that either.

Well, then what? What can I watch on television that is going to help me be more psychic? Actually, there’s not much. You could watch those psychic detective shows and sort of get an idea of what the psychic sees, what they do to encourage a psychic vision, stuff like that. But, even more than that I think is you addressing your spiritual nature. Your psychic nature and your spiritual nature are as much a part of you as the color of your hair. It’s there. It’s always been there. Pay attention to them now.

And, what do you do? Well, you do what you are moved to do. Dabble if you want. Go to the new age section, which abuts onto the religious section and the help self section of your library or local book store. Pick something out and read it. How do you feel? Now, do some journaling to sort it out. Now what? Are you psychic? Are you spiritual? Are you going to Hell or Heaven? Go pick out another book. Quit sweating it. Trust that your teacher (in the form of a book or of an interview on some talk show on television or on the radio) will appear. Just keep reading. You’re going to get a whole lot more out of doing it this way than if you park your butt in that familiar rut on the couch night after night.

There’s a lot of what you read that really won’t be all that helpful, that isn’t haute cuisine, but it’s a whole lot more on your path than watching mind-numbing television night after night. Unless, of course, you need it to unwind. Personally, a little bit goes a long way for me. Like the guides say: moderation is a good course.

Neti Pot Nasal Wash

2008-07-20T11:03:00.000-07:00

When I was a teenager and into my young adult years I used to do a mild salt water wash of my sinuses. You'd cup a little water in your hand or in a small cup and sort of inhale it into one nostrul at a time. I remember as I would do the other one I'd have to stopper up the nostril I'd already loaded up otherwise it would all leak out. Once I'd loaded up both nostrils I'd bend over and hang my head down for a little bit. Presumably, this allowed the warm saline solution to wash into my sinuses. Then, for the really dramatic part I'd bring my head up and holding one of my nostrils shut would hose out the most disgusting crap out of my nose. Then, I'd switch sides and honk out the other one. It never failed to amaze me the stuff that came out of my nose.

It goes without saying that you'd have to clean the sink out afterward.

Anyway, breathing was great for many years and for some reason I stopped doing it. Can't quite remember why other than I might have felt I was getting addicted to this manner of cleaning or got tired of having a drippy nose for a few hours after every treatment. That, was the only downside that I can remember.

My sister recently extoled the virtues of her own Neti pot. I asked what the hell was a Neti pot and she began to tell me how she and my brother-in-law now regularly clean their nasal passages using this little gizmo. She said she met with a bit of resistance from my brother-in-law but was finally able to convince him to try it too. He told her that he hasn't felt this great in years. She said she's had a decrease in the frequency and severity of the sinus headaches she suffered from for years.

So, I bought one.

You should have heard DeeDude just now when I told him to come watch. I almost choked he was so funny. He said I should take a movie and put it on the blog. I think I'll pass on that one and instead just tell you how it went.

Luke warm water and a tiny bit of salt. Stir it up in the pot with your finger and pour. Breathe with mouth open and as you pour into the one nostril IT COMES OUT OF THE OTHER ONE! So, this is a slightly different procedure than the one I used when I was young. The advantage I can see right now is I'm not dripping all over the front of my shirt. The one thing I'm thinking, though, is that disgusting crud did not come out. So, it's cleaning my nostrils and not way up deep into my nasal passages.

And, it was funny to see DeeDude's reaction.

Hmmmm

2008-07-20T08:02:00.000-07:00

There’s that old saying that variety is the spice of life. I too am easily amused with some of the email newsletters that I’ve signed up for. My favorites are the craft or the recipe of the day. I might not read every single one of them that hits my mailbox, but I know that they arrived.

So, if I like it why could I not do something similar I ask myself? Well, the first thing I think of is that it’s too much like work and I’ve already got a job. The closest I come to something sent out on a regular basis is my own Talking to Spirit newsletter. I’ve been doing it for 3 years and it has slowly evolved into something that I’m comfortable with…on a monthly basis, but not on a daily basis.

I believe I need to get back to basics. Intellectually I am familiar with the concept of garbage in and garbage out. I need to refresh and renew a bit more than I’ve been doing lately. All that floats to the surface right now are a lot of whining excuses: I’ve been sick. I’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. My back hurts. I have diarrhea. I suppose if I thought hard enough I could come up with some more. But, right there, I’m putting effort into whining that I could just as easily put into doing something more creative. So, maybe I should look into why I’m whining. Oh, and my stomach is hurting. I forgot that.

Oh, alright, since, this has morphed into a blog entry, let me just detail what I did yesterday. I replaced my destroyed keyboard (cat threw up on it…see blog entry about that here) with a really snazzy Microsoft ergonomic cordless 7000 version that came with an ergonomic mouse. I’m really liking it. You can position it 3 ways: back end higher, front end higher or flat. I’m using it flat right now. It’s got a zoom button in the middle that I’m using more and more. It’s got 5 programmable Favorite keys running along the top that I’ve already configured: one to open the folder I put current photographs in, one to see how much money I made on Google, one to go to Blogger.com and one to go to Netflix.com (I love to watch the on-demand movies). The last one has not been configured. There’s also a button to push so you can see how you configured them just in case you forget (I have). I’m thinking about labeling them. I also got a $20 mail in rebate I need to prepare. Total on the keyboard and mouse was $119 or $99 once I get my rebate.

The other thing I did was to happen upon a terrific sale at Beverly’s down at Southshore Mall in Alameda. $1.97 a yard for a huge pile of calico prints. I busted the bank on that one. Came home and told DeeDude I’d gotten my birthday present. The minimum purchase on most of the yardage was 3 yards, though there were at least 2 more where I told the lady to just keep measuring until we came to the end of the bolt…generally about another 2 yards more. I figured I might as well just use it up rather than leave a weeney piece for somebody else to regret more hadn’t been left. Funny, I tend to use the same approach as I eat. Anyway, I’m thrilled with the purchase. Figure I might even be able to make myself some gowns. Also have plans for some sit-upons for the cats and some of the chairs they’ve been using as scratching posts. And, of course, the insides of some tote bags. Notice in the picture an inquisitive cat coming in from the right. That's Shelby. She helps out with the various projects people do in the house.

The things I want to do today are to do a bit of ironing. It shouldn’t take more than half an hour. Also, I want to clean up my study. I got a set of terrific plastic storage boxes (large shoe box size) yesterday at Office Depot that should assist with organizing my craft stuff. Barb will come over for a computer lesson in the afternoon and that will be about 2 hours. Last week was really productive. I’ll have to look at our list to see what we can focus on today. And, I need to update my Spanish blog. Actually, I ought to spend about an hour with my Spanish lessons. That might be more productive. I’ve started listening to Spanish language radio broadcasts when I’m in the car just to get my ear better tuned. Don’t understand but one word in 20, but you gotta start somewhere.

So, that’s it. Off to the races.

Tossed Up and Tossed Out

2008-07-16T07:47:00.000-07:00

Well, there went my lovely ergonomic keyboard. Somebody, we're not naming names, but I think her initials are Fluffy Drawers, threw up a hairball sometime during the night on my keyboard. Actually, the blame for the damaged computer component lies squarely in Mommy's lap because somebody (probably the same cat) threw up the night before too. Except that hairball hit the floor and missed the computer equipment. This is one of those deals the universe hands you sometimes where you go, "Oh, shit. I should have seen that one coming." Big fluffy cat isn't going to just throw up one hairball. I hope she feels better now.

Luckily, I had another keyboard. So, after swearing a bit. And, being saved by Spirit because I turned on the computer without thinking and they said, "Not a good idea." I turned it off real quick. That would have been worse to short the whole thing out with cat throwup inside my keyboard.

I wiped off the surface of the keyboard and then left it upside down on the kitchen counter. Looked underneath after a couple of minutes to find more cat throwup. So, I decided to open it up. Yuck. It was everywhere. Also, there was the usual crud that you'd find inside a keyboard after a few year's worth of use....wet from the cat throwup. It was really gross.

I decided then to just toss the whole thing. Fifteen years ago I cleaned off another keyboard that a cat had thrown up on. It was tedious work and it only lasted for 6 months after that before it bit the dust. I learned my lesson. Don't bother. And, close up the keyboard drawer at night so it isn't in the way of flying hair balls.

Where I Lose My Voice

2008-06-28T06:47:00.000-07:00

Well, I have no voice. Nothing wrong with my fingers, so I can communicate well enough to the world at large, but to my family and at work? Nope.

Started Wednesday afternoon at work and I wasn’t feeling very good. Woke up Thursday am feeling like crap. Diabetes numbers were way up there too. Double crap. So, for the first time since I had a kidney stone years ago I called in sick. That was Thursday. I spent the day in bed, just like when you were sick when you were a kid. Had to stay in bed. Except, no comic books for me. I coughed and wheezed. My chest hurt and I couldn’t breathe. I spent the day taking Nyquil that I found out later had expired in January.

DeeDude made 2 trips out to buy me stuff. I’d told him on Thursday when he’d called me that I wanted SPT that night. That’s Sick Person’s Treatment.

Friday I went to work. Still sick, but able enough to join the workforce. Figured if I was to give this to everybody in the office they’d already had the opportunity to get it. In fact, when I called in Thursday am to tell them I wasn’t going to come in my co-worker said she wasn’t feeling good either. Based on what’s going on this morning I really should not have gone in. My voice was doing really strange things yesterday, up and down, squeaky and froggy by turns. I should have seen it coming and clammed up.

Today, I can’t talk. I spent some time upon awakening coughing up a storm and blowing my nose a lot. I didn’t realize anything was wrong until DeeDude woke up blowing his nose. I went in to say good morning and nothing came out. Figure it’s just a temporary thing and it will come back eventually. I’ve got two days to get through this.

Where I Make a Tailor Tack

2008-06-21T21:24:00.000-07:00

To anybody walking by this is a Tailor Tack. I'm going to be removing it tomorrow. The purpose of this post is to see what happens when my next email goes out tomorrow. Will it pick up both posts I did today or will it only pick up this latest one?

It’s the Ten of Toast Rule.

2008-06-21T16:58:00.000-07:00

My husband loves watching true crime stories on television. And, always, without fail he will, as the time approaches ten minutes until the top of the hour make some comment to the effect that, “We all know he did it. It’s ten of.”

So, I’m sitting back in the study just now minding my own business and I hear DeeDude hollering (all the fans in the house are going and the television is turned up high). He’s saying, “You’re toast Bub. Don’t you know it’s ten of?” At first I thought he was talking to Phil, our neighbor. Then, I wondered what the hell they could be talking about.

Curious, I left the study to go see DeeDude grabbing a handful of Hershey’s Kisses in the kitchen. During the commercial break we, like everybody else who watches television, find other things to do…like finding yummy things to eat in the kitchen. Phil wasn’t there. I asked him who he was talking to. He said he was talking to the guy on the TV; that it was the Ten of Toast Rule and we all knew who did it.

While It is Cool

2008-06-21T06:32:00.000-07:00

God, it’s going to be hot today. It’s 6:15 am right now and it’s 78 degrees already. Last night after 8 pm it was still 100 degrees out on the patio. It felt hotter than that inside the house. Ugh. Drank lots and lots of water.

Got an object lesson on how important it is for a diabetic to stay hydrated in hot weather day before yesterday. After lunch at work it began heating up. And, I went from okay to a really cranky, really upset and very sick little puppy in no time at all. I thought I was going to faint. I went outside and sat on our steps where it’s a bit cooler for a couple of minutes. Then, I went back inside and decided to test my blood sugar. At 2 hours after lunch It was 187 which for me is sort of edging into really high territory. I drank 2 glasses of water in quick succession and an hour later suddenly realized that I was feeling fine. I tested my sugar again and it had sunk to 114.

Have plans to be really busy this morning. Figure as the day wears on it’ll be harder and harder to do things other than sit here and sweat.

I don’t know where I am anymore, but yesterday I signed up with Feedburner to enable folks to subscribe to this blog via their newsreader (which I’m not all that clear on how to work) and via email (where I am more comfortable). I’m my first subscriber to the email version, so will see what it’s like after I post this. In fact, I’d best do what I normally do which is to fiddle around with the post several times as I tweak it into shape. Wouldn’t want folks to be getting an email every time I decide I see a misspelled word or realize I want to change something.

Okay, sort of answered my own question as I went back into the Feedburner program and read more. I can select what time of day I want my emails to be sent out. I fixed it so it would be from 9 to 11 am, so I'll see in a little bit what happened.

I want to go transfer my membership at Curves today, go to the library, pop into that fabulous bakery on Fruitvale, buy some stuff at Longs after Curves and then back home again. By then it will be hot.

Also, am thinking about rescheduling B's and my lesson for tomorrow from 2 pm to earlier in the day when it will be nicer. Probably better for both of us. I'm teaching her beginning computer stuff. Figure we'll look at what the keyboard does for a bit and how to fart around on the internet. Who knows? Maybe I can develop a bit of a side business if it is successful.

The Facecloth

2008-06-15T19:04:00.000-07:00

My sister sent me this one in an email:

The Facecloth (a true story by anonymous)

This has to be read, laughed at and passed on.There is not a woman alive today who won't crack up over this!

I was due for a cancer smear with the doctor later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am.

The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pyjamas, wet the facecloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable.

I threw the facecloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, 'My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?'

I didn't respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal -some shopping, cleaning, & cooking.

After school when my 7 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, 'Mummy,where's my facecloth?' I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, 'No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter saved inside it.'

NEVER going back to that doctor ever!!!

How to Tap Into Your Intuition

2008-06-14T13:11:00.000-07:00

I was poking around at YouTube this morning and discovered a whole bunch of wonderful videos by Dr. Judith Orloff. This one is about how to tap into your own intuition. Enjoy.

No

2008-06-14T10:03:00.000-07:00

How does it make you feel when somebody says no to you? It’s like it suddenly jets you back to the time when you were 3 years old and had been thwarted with whatever it was that you were doing. For me, anyway, it doesn’t feel good. It’s like a jolt of electricity. Then, all sorts of defensive things swing into play and the overall feeling is just not very good.

What I would like is whenever anybody says no to me that I am okay with it whatever the no is about; that I don’t have any annoying reactions like catching my breath, or feeling my face get all hot and red. None of that. Just calm, cool and collected. And, not be bothered one bit that somebody just told me no.

Actually, if you remember anything about being 3 years old you did it anyway. Maybe I should too.

Pixar - For The Birds

2008-06-10T21:10:00.001-07:00

This is one of my all time favorite shorts. For the Birds. Enjoy.

Cute Puppies

2008-06-09T20:17:00.001-07:00

I just couldn't resist. These are the cutest puppies ever.

Time Management

2008-06-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

I’m having a hot flash. I just got a really tingly idea that might be of great benefit today for me. I’m going to set the timer for how much time I will spend surfing the net. It appears I can sit here and get numb butt and sore wrist and not come away from the experience any wiser or with any degree of satisfaction in place.

Hence, the timer. If I apply the rules of universal manifestation to my own surfing situation here I could probably think if it hasn’t happened in the given amount of time it’s not going to happen. On the up side of this supposition is the idea that I’m going to have more time in my day to do other things.

Things that have been neglected lately, like updating this blog and work on my hobbies that have gone by the wayside. I suppose what sort of brought all this about was the question that came to mind a few days ago: What would I do if I only had 10 years left to live? So, I will post this and see how many other interesting things I can do with the rest of my Sunday. Have a nice one.

Where I Build A Widget

2008-06-06T20:35:00.000-07:00

I've been interested lately to see these rather cool looking widgets on people's blogs. Folks have their blogs compressed into a weenie little thing (nice technical talk) that others can put on their blogs if they want.

So, I went and built a couple of them. The one for Psychic Vents needed an image and the picture comes from this blog, so I figured I would create something that fit in with my theme. Voila....and here it is. They're at Widgetbox

I'm just about tapped out after having built two. I'll build the others over the weekend.

The Weekend Approaches

2008-06-06T06:51:00.001-07:00

So, the weekend approaches. I got up an hour earlier than normal today and find myself with that much extra time on my hands. With it I leisurely watered the plants out on the patio taking time to talk to Mattie who followed me around from pot to pot inspecting the water before it had a chance to seep down into the earth.

Then, I started an idea to talk about how it is difficult for somebody to draw and speak at the same time because they are using different parts of their brains and switching back and forth is awkward sometimes. Left side for talking and right side for drawing. Then, I wondered if that applies at all to my own channeling. If I close my eyes I can channel much faster than if they are open. However, if they are open and I am not really looking at anything in particular the channeling can commence quickly.

Come to think of it I also write best with my eyes closed too. Makes for sucky spelling errors later on, but hey, the price of good writing? Or, better writing.

How I Spent The Evening

2008-06-03T21:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I've been working on an Amazon store. Not too sure how it's finally going to look, but I'm pretty much wiped out for now. So, in case I really don't know what I'm doing and can't get back to the right place to get the code, this is a link to what we've got for now. I think it's looking pretty and have a feeling I'm going to be spending a lot of my own money on this stuff.

Friday

2008-05-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

I’m not slick. I’m not interesting. I’m probably boring. I’m plain. I’m a no-nonsense sort of person. But, these days the emotions can well up in me sometimes like I’m a different person. Just a song, just a silly little song with a guy singing country can reach right in and grab my uterus and twist it right up. Not like it hurts. It’s like my whole insides do a flash back to the time I was young and juicy and I’m not 52 anymore for a couple of minutes.

I wonder if my mother ever felt like that? She never said anything like that to me.

So, I have to get my mind back on track again and not worry about it. I’ve got other things to do. I’ve got other things I want to do. And, suddenly I want to do them all real fast.

Make My Day and Make Your Point

2008-05-27T21:11:00.001-07:00

We can learn things from even the most irritating people. Like Billy Mays for one. But, as I was surfing the web tonight and happened upon an infomercial sort of a site I realized that they had a point. If you figure that a person's eyes are going to travel in a more or less predictable fashion as they rush through reading a page you can turn that eye movement to your advantage.

So, I made a graph. Now, all I need to figure out is what I want to say. Relentless. That's what I need to be is relentless...like Billy Mays.

Free Rice

2008-05-26T14:32:00.001-07:00

Since this program started in October, 2007 people have contributed 34,305,139,070 grains of rice. You can help too.

Using DeeDude's Laptop and Watching Television at the Same Time

2008-05-25T18:19:00.000-07:00

This is a sort of test post. I'm using DeeDude's laptop in the living room. First 48 is on television: She knows more than she's letting on. Yeah, go ahead. Have a cigarette. Who were you with? Bailey said she was with Trap in the trailer last night. Two other people, a man nicknamed Blow was also in the trailer. Did anybody get into an argument? "No!" Somebody knows what happened. What do you think happened? Bailey thinks Blow might have shot Trap.

And, does Trap have anything to say about this? If my family ever came across this I think they'd be upset with you. Well, I can't help it. I talk to dead people. Did they ever catch who shot you? No. They're still looking for them. Are you sure? Well, I'm the one who died aren't I? You'd think I'd know. That's not what I mean. I mean I can be a sucky channel sometimes and maybe I didn't get it right. No, you got it right. Maybe we can wait for the end and see what the detectives think. Now, they've got the lady you were with on TV. She says she doesn't know anything. Do you believe her? We've got to take a time-out while they work on the other case.

Man, it seems I'll do anything not to write my articles. Hey, this is getting hot. That's what happens to laptops. They might be convenient, but they also use up a lot of heat. In about 5 years the technology will have advanced so much that the laptops will use less energy. So will a lot of things. Do you figure that people are even going to be remotely interested in this post? It depends, Dear. If they want to see what it's like for one person to channel they would be. As far as what we are talking about I would imagine not. Why not? Are you attempting to start an argument with me? Well, that might be more interesting than blathering about. You cannot win. You do realize that, don't you? Yes. I'm just funning. Right. Funning. New word. Pulling your guide's leg is what you are doing. I wish the show would come back on again. I want to know if the stuff Trap was saying is true. Dear, there is a reason you don't do psychic readings. Right. You don't have to rub it in.

Okay...it's on. Be quiet. Take your fingers off the keyboard, dear. Yeah, yeah, that blurry guy knows something. That's why he is blurry. They have put him into a witness protection program. See, he says Blow did it.

Okay. I'm a sucky channel. They've charged Blow with Trap's murder and he is currently awaiting trial. So, I didn't channel that correctly when you said that they hadn't caught the guy.

Pixar Short - One Man Band

2008-05-24T08:48:00.000-07:00

This is cute.

Mild Nudity

2008-05-23T19:34:00.000-07:00

Here’s a channeling funny for you. I was just surfing around at Blog Explosion putting off the time when I would either buckle down and balance the checkbook or get extremely motivated and write a few articles for my June newsletter. At the top of the blog that had come up for review were the teasers: Biting Satire, Sharp Commentary and Mild Nudity. I said to myself…myself mind you. I hadn’t addressed this to anybody else, but I said to myself, “Mild nudity? What’s that?” And, my guide said, “That’s when you take your hat off.”

New Blog - Spirited Recipes

2008-05-22T21:49:00.000-07:00

Is this a strange manifestation of going through Menopause or do I just need to be on medicine? I've signed up for another blog. Spirited Recipes. I just spent the evening making a graphic for it. This is going to be about food and specifically channeled recipes. I've already got a bunch of them...well, not a bunch but a few over at Talking to Spirit. So, now, I'm going to do more. I love reading food blogs and having an exchange would be great. Psychic Cook.

Now We're Cooking - Bread Pudding.

2008-05-20T18:11:00.000-07:00

So I'm selecting YouTube videos (a new one each day) for my friend to put on his website at Zdaily and came upon this one just now. Yum.

Now We're Cooking - Bread Pudding.

Something I Just Channeled

2008-05-18T14:14:00.000-07:00

I don't talk about it much, but I'm always in touch with Spirit. It's like a connection that just is never severed. I'm so used to it now that I don't think about it all the time, but I sometimes pull it all back in and remember to give thanks.

I'm reading a book right now, "Home to Holly Springs" by Jan Karon. It's the first in the Father Timothy novels. It's got to be the 6th or 7th or even 8th that I've read by Jan Karon about Father Tim and Mitford. Anyway, I've mostly been crying through the whole thing, no waiting for the end on this one to let loose. It's a terrific book. I'll write more about it in my book blog, but out of the blue as I was heaving a big ole sigh and wiping my eyes Somebody in Spirit just said to me, "It’s all a prayer no matter what is said just like it’s all a polka no matter where you put your feet."

Where I Read Books

2008-05-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

There’s nothing more satisfying to me than reading a book. I’ve had a streak of good luck lately with the ones I’ve been picking up at the library. Back in April of last year I decided to write reviews about the books I read. I can’t say as how they are really good literature or that they would, in any way, make a mark on the book reviewing world, but I’m having fun with them. Maybe over time I’ll get better at it. For now, I think it’s fun to write the reviews. And, since April of 2007? I’ve reviewed 56 books. The blog is Where I Read Books.

Pauline as Pop Art

2008-05-11T18:21:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon The Warholizer where you upload a picture and it is converted into pop art.

Oh, Well....That Sucked

2008-05-11T14:50:00.000-07:00

Channeled Recipe – Dump Cake

So, it’s Mother’s Day and I wanted to do something a little out of the ordinary. It had been a long time since we’d done a channeled recipe and that’s what I was up for.

So, it’s in the oven. I do hope it turns out. Actually, if you see this on the web it did. Otherwise we’d have another go at it.

And, I argued with them through the whole thing…I wish I was more gracious about this. Maybe if I did it more often and wasn’t so faint of heart and a more daring-do sort of person.

Dump Cake ala Seth and Assorted other Folk in Spirit

Grease and flour the little pan. I believe it is 9”x9”. We won’t know until it comes out of the oven. I’m not measuring it now. It’s hot. But, they say it is 9”x9”. We’ll go with that. If it’s any different I’ll fix the recipe.

Pour in half of the cake mix. I used Pillsbury yellow cake mix.

Prepare the apples: I peeled and diced up about 4 or 5 apples. There were some brown spots and I had to cut those out, so if you’re using really primo apples you’ll probably only need 4 of them. In the end it measured 2 cups. I put them into a sauce pan and added one TBS of butter and ¼ cup of brown sugar. Cook them up a bit. The juice from the apples comes out so you’ll have a bit of liquid to work with. But, watch them towards the end…it could all start burning on you if you’re not watching. In all? About 3 or 4 minutes. Just until they’re soft. Oh, and throw in a handful of raisins towards the beginning so they plump up nice too.

Pour the apple and raisin mixture over top of the dry cake mix in the pan. Sprinkle about half of the remaining cake mix over the apples and raisins. Pour over a whole stick (1/2 cup) of butter that you’ve melted in the microwave. Now, top this with what is left of the cake mix. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar if you want to. Oh, and I sprinkled a little cinnamon sugar into the apples as they cooked too.

Mix it up a little bit. Not until it is smooth. Just lumps and bumps and it looks sort of interesting. Top with a ¼ cup of nuts.

Put it into a 350 degree F oven for 45 minutes. I’m using a convection oven, so if you’ve got a regular oven this might go for an hour. Use your cake tester to see if it is done.

I suppose you’d better let it cool a bit before you cut into it. I imagine this would be really good warm with vanilla ice cream.

The Results: It burned. At half an hour the top was like totally burned. So, if and when I do this again I think the oven should be at 325 and the time about half an hour and I watch it like a hawk. I ate the part that didn't burn and it was good with vanilla ice cream like I thought it would be.

How To Draw

2008-05-08T20:28:00.000-07:00

Oh, I have to go investigate this. How to draw stuff. I'm such a ditz about drawing and any little tips thrill me to death. So, at How Stuff Works there's an entire huge, absolutely huge section on how to draw stuff. As I do it I might even post my attempts!

The Vegetable Orchestra

2008-05-06T19:33:00.000-07:00

My mother always said, "Don't play with your food."

Farting Around at YouTube

2008-05-04T11:35:00.000-07:00

Now, I have to go work....no more fooling around.

Relaxing After Dinner

2008-05-01T19:25:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd post a series of pictures I took this evening. This first one is Sheba enjoying the last of the afternoon sun. She's over on our neighbor Phil's porch.

This is the bouquet Dennis brought home for me. That man is so good to me. I always like to get some pictures on the first day or so while the blooms look so fresh.

Mattie preferred to sit up on the ledge where I've got my kitchen garden: oregano and chives.

Samantha is our guard cat. She watches over the neighborhood and ensures the family is safe. Her interest in flowers is fleeting.

Sam is in the distance in this shot. I'm still trying to figure out how my camera works so the flowers in the forground are in focus and Sam in the background is not. By the way, I'm using a Sony MVC-FD75 FD Mavica 10x Optical Zoom with a 3 ½ inch floppy disk.

Shelby is very interested in the flowers.

The Dog, The Cat and The Rat

2008-04-15T06:43:00.000-07:00

Gregory Pike, from Telluride, Colorado talks about his friends.

Shelby Peeking Out

2008-04-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

Hidden completely from the world under the bitty kitty cover Shelby peeks out at me.

Waving a Magic Wand

2008-04-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

Don’t you sometimes just wish somebody would wave a magic wand and make it all be different? That’s what movies are for. Here’s a technique you can use to make it seem like somebody has been waving a magic wand in your life. I call it the indirect approach. It sometimes takes awhile, but it does eventually work.

First you have in mind what you want to have happen in your life. Then, you figure out to the best of your ability what steps you would need to take to make that desirable thing happen in your life. I can almost guarantee you that there will be 25 steps you’ll need to take that you haven’t thought of yet, but don’t worry about it. Anyway, you pick one of the steps and start working on it. Nothing seems to be happening. So, you abandon that step and do another one instead. Your enthusiasm has not yet flagged. You work on the next step for awhile and nothing seems to be happening. So, you abandon that one too and rock back on your heels considering. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea.

You forget about it.

Now here comes the very weird part of all of this. This is the part I’m still trying to figure out. Whatever it is that you were going after starts to happen anyway. Except, it is not exactly as easy as you thought it was going to be. It isn’t a straight line to getting what you want. Things, other things in your life need to change. Mostly, it’s about you changing. That’s really the only thing you’ve got control over anyway.

But, this is about focusing in on something really intently, the wanting, the desiring, the needing of whatever it is that you want to make happen and then letting go of it. Forgetting about it, but still somehow in the back of your mind having a faint glimmer of the original wish so that you begin to almost unconsciously chip away at that list of requirements you thought you would need to accomplish in order to get to wherever it was that you wanted to be going.

Here’s an interesting part about this too. Okay, so in the beginning you had a list of 18 things you figured you’d need to know or do in order to accomplish said thing. You started in on doing them, but in the doing of the first 2 items the next 16 didn’t need to be done exactly the way you’d lined them out on paper, they changed slightly.

Mrs. Hughes

2008-04-05T11:21:00.000-07:00

Watch Mrs. Hughes. This is hilarious.

Si, Seniorita

2008-03-30T18:42:00.000-07:00

I got a lot done today. Deedude started two loads of laundry for us and I finished them up. I also got the ironing done. Also went to NetLibrary.com and downloaded a Pimsleur Spanish Language Audio Book and did the first lesson. “Perdon, Senorita. Habla Inglis? No, Senior. No entiendo.” Anyway, it was a good half an hour I spent with my first Spanish conversation. There is no accompanying book to read so I’m sort of guessing at the spelling. But, anywhere I can learn something about Spanish is going to be good. And, did I mention it was free? I was able to get a membership to NetLibrary via the Oakland public library. If you’ve got a local library card I’m sure you would have no problem signing up. You can download audio books or e-books. I’ve got 21 days with the Spanish course and saved the audio book to my desktop. So, I felt pretty good about that.

Tomorrow is a big day. We’ve got an appointment to take Captain Jack into the vets. I hope DeeDude is able to get him into the carrier. So far, neither one of us has ever been able to even touch Jack. I’m sure I’ll hear about it later on. I’ll be at work when all of this unfolds.

Oh, and I went to Curves too. Also, went two rounds on my Plarn tote bag. Plarn is plastic yarn. You make it out of plastic grocery bags. Mine is about 3 inches high now. At the rate I’m going it will be August before it’s ready to actually tote anything.

After Note: We cancelled Captain Jack's appointment with our vet and decided to spend time on getting him tame. We thought shoving him into the carrier, probably sustaining scratches up and down our arms and a trip to the vets would be too cruel right now. So, I figured one way to start is with food. It's his favorite thing around here anyway. He didn't like that I held out slices of ham to him yesterday morning and eventually took a swipe for me to drop it and let him eat it on his own terms. What a cat. Anyway, it's progress of a sort.

The Shit Key

2008-03-28T05:50:00.000-07:00

You know how with computers you can do these short cuts by pressing the Alt key and something else, or the Ctrl key and another key and do some quick operation? Well, I was just surfing the blogs at Blog Explosion and happened upon somebody who was explaining some neat shortcut that could be accomplished by pressing the Shift key and another. Except, my eyes, not being as good as they once were read Shit.

Look, I just woke up. It was this odd little spike of adrenalin as I read about the Shit key. I wondered for a second or two where on anybody’s keyboard there could possibly be a Shit key. This stopped my forward momentum for just a brief glitch in time. And, then I looked at it again. No, it was the Shift key. Oh, my world settled down again. The keyboard is safe again.

Getting old sucks.

Menopause Jewelry

2008-03-25T20:10:00.000-07:00

Here's another one from my sister:

My husband, being unhappy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods.

We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big frickin red mark on his forehead.

My Private Part Died Today!

2008-03-25T20:08:00.000-07:00

Here's another one my sister just sent me:

An old man, Mr. Goldstein, was living the last of his life in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked if there was anything wrong. "Yes, Nurse, said Mr. Goldstein, "My Private Part died today, and I am very sad." Knowing her patients were forgetful and sometimes a little crazy, she replied, "Oh, I'm so sorry, Mr. Goldstein, please accept my condolences."

The following day, Mr. Goldstein was walking down the hall with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas, when he met Nurse Tracy. "Mr. Goldstein," she said, "You shouldn't be walking down the hall like that. Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas. "But, Nurse, " replied Mr. Goldstein, "I told you yesterday that my Private Part died." "Yes, you did tell me that, but why is it hanging out of your pajamas?" "Well, he replied, "Today's the viewing."

Do You Hear That Flushing Noise?

2008-03-22T13:52:00.001-07:00

If I had my druthers I think I'd take next Wednesday the 26th and maybe Thursday the 27th off from work. I believe spending a really quiet time at home would be the best way to ease past a bunch of really low biorhythms.

If you can't quite see them in the upper picture Emotional (in green), Physical (in red) and Intellectual (in blue) are all in the toilet.

In the second picture Passion (in yellow), Wisdom (in light blue) and Mastery (in fusia) are also in the toilet.

You can get your own biorhythms read for free by going to http://www.facade.com/ and clicking on the biorhythm button. All you need to know is your birthday.

This doesn't exactly mean it's going to be a horrible day for me. It means I might have a particularly trying day. I know everything will be okay in the end. I know all will be well. I also know I don't want to burn any bridges or sign any contracts that day and I certainly want to keep my mouth shut.

However, if what goes down also comes back up again then on April 10th it's all going to look a lot better:

Where I Got Interrupted

2008-03-22T13:47:00.000-07:00

When you are talking to somebody what is the thing you want them to remember about you when you walk away? Is it that you kept saying, “Uh” every other word? Is it that your personal hygiene might be improved by a look in the mirror every once in awhile to make sure you don’t have spinach stuck on your front tooth or you’ve got a booger sitting there waiting for you to do something about? Maybe they’re getting along in years and come from an earlier time and don’t understand the slang you use incessantly. Or, maybe they cringe every time you say, “You know”…which you do say a lot.

Why would you even care? Well, if it’s some girl or guy you’re trying to impress leaving them with a favorable memory will make it easier for you to talk to them next time. What about if you’re going on a job interview? Here’s a pointer. Don’t talk about yourself so much. In other words, keeping your mouth shut and not volunteering information is likely to get you the job more than opening your shirt and baring all.

Does this make sense?

It depends. If it were you going on a job interview you’d certainly, at this point in your life, want to bare all. Tell them you are psychic. Tell them you have many friends you’ve made on the internet. Tell them you regularly purchase things online and use your credit card and paypal to pay for it.

Why are you saying these things? I was writing something. Is this helpful?

Yes, we feel it is.

Well, I guess it wasn’t all that an interesting blog anyway. It was sort of lecturish. I guess.

Yes, that it is.

Is?

Well, you haven’t covered it over and deleted it have you?

No.

So, it is in the present tense.

Right. I want a drink.

You don’t drink anymore.

Right. I think I’ll make some lemonade.

What Will They Think of Next?

2008-03-22T13:37:00.000-07:00

Who would ever have thought in the early days of the internet that one day you’d be able to google the instruction manual you can’t find. The days of looking for some things are over.

Fraud

2008-03-20T06:54:00.000-07:00

I got an email from somebody complaining about me endorsing an absolute fraud on my website. I spent a bit of time looking for the link she was talking about and finally located it coming in as a Google ad. So, I clicked on it (Gods of Google please don’t dun me for a bad click...what can I say?…I was distracted) to find out what she was talking about. Free astrology reading. Okay, so I signed up for it. An email came back almost immediately saying for me to keep looking in my inbox in the next day or so for my reading. I was not asked for my birth time or place which would have really nailed a more accurate reading, but not that many people remember their actual time of birth and I’ve seen other readings where that particular bit of information wasn’t asked. And, there’s also the question of this whole thing still being free at this point. What do you want for free?

But, the whole thing has steered me around to think about what constitutes fraud.

If a person doesn’t like their reading the first thing out of their mouth is fraud. It’s actually why I’m not doing readings anymore. I got tired of people complaining that they could have heard exactly what I had to say from one of those better known psychics. Sort of a backhanded compliment if you ask me, but like I said, I got tired of hearing complaints. Hey, when I spend an hour or two working on a reading I’d like to be paid for my time which, when I quit doing readings was $70. Anyway, I’ve got absolutely no tact at all and at $70 a pop I suppose I should have been gentler. If you’re a twit I’ll say so. People don’t like that. But, twits have just as much right to walk the earth as frauds do.

Casting an astrology chart is almost a no-brainer if you’ve got a nice software program, but is that fraud? I don’t think so. It’s easy.

I’m an old soul. The watchword with an old soul is live and let live. So what? If you got taken by a fraud then you learn and won’t do it again. And, if you get taken twice then maybe that’s a harder lesson for you to learn. What’s that saying? “Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me.”

I’m waiting to see my reading. And, I might even spend whatever she wants for a paid reading just to see what she has to say. Just because somebody calls somebody else a fraud doesn’t mean that I’m going to believe them right off the bat and even if they were a fraud it probably wouldn’t bother me. Hey, I’m an old soul. I really don’t care.

I could figure out how to ask Google not to run her ads, but I’m nowhere near ready to do that at this point in time.

Music

2008-03-20T06:26:00.000-07:00

I spent a delightful evening yesterday creating a playlist of music to play on this blog. Donna at Made in Heaven gave me the idea of where to go. It’s at http://www.playlist.com/ I was amazed at all the music available. You can search by artist, by title or combination of both. You can also have a look at other people’s playlists. I know I’m dating myself with my music selections, but it’s what I’d like to listen to while reading my own blog. The playlist is down at the bottom of the blog. I've got it set to play randomly or you can turn it off.

Where I Talk about Writing and Then Channel a Story

2008-03-16T21:08:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think about how I’ve never really written a story. It’s something I’m almost afraid of doing. What does interest me, though, is the idea of writing a tiny little story about a character. This would be a character I know from a previous lifetime I think. This would be from another lifetime where I was a writer and this would be a continuation of the story I had started then. Figuring that as a writer in that lifetime I had already spent the time growing my character. I had watched that individual come to life and begin to speak. I had grown with that character and seen how they acted in the world, how they reacted to harsh situations, how they softened and loved. All the hard work, I would imagine, was done. Now, all I have to do in this lifetime is to tell a part of their story. Or, actually, allow them to tell their own story.

This is sort of weird.

Well, no I guess it isn’t. I’m a channel. Secretary to Spirit. No reason why a character can’t also speak through me.

Okay, I’m ready.

I’m here.

You are?

Yes.

You’re a man.

I’m glad you noticed.

I’m upset about this.

Why?

I was expecting a woman. I can’t write about men things.

I don’t see why not. Actually, I’m telling the story. You’re just recording things.

Well, yes, according to the rules.

And, you made the rules, didn’t you?

Yes.

You’re frowning.

Yes. I’m not sure about this.

I know you are afraid.

Thanks. Like I really need you to see me in all my fine cowardly ways.

Hey, nobody’s perfect.

Okay. We can do an experiment. You can talk for half a page. How’s that?

Well, it’s better than nothing.

Just like a man.

I should take offense at that, but look at what I’ve got to work with. You’re frowning again.

You’re one of those heroes aren’t you.

You’re not describing what I just did.

A squinty thing with your eyes.

I’d describe it a bit differently.

How?

He cocked his eyebrow at her.

Oh. Yeah, that’s better.

I’m brown. No.no.no. I’m swarthy, tan like a cowboy. I’ve been out in the weather for a long time. Riding trains back and forth across the prairies. I’m a cattle buyer. I go to where the cattle are, make arrangements for the Chicago Meat Packing Plant to purchase the cows and then move on.

Is this real?

If you’d quit interrupting we can go somewhere with this.

I’m not sure that’s how cattle buying goes.

That’s your problem. You’re afraid to make a mistake. Just pretend. It doesn’t matter. Just allow the words to roll out.

Okay. So, you’re a cattle buyer. Must be in the Wild West.

Well, it was starting to settle down by then. It was after the Civil War was over. Only that war kept going on for a good generation. Bad feelings on both sides. It took a long time to wind down. Anyway, the story opens in 1880. That’s where I am now. I caught the tail end of the Civil War. Just like you caught the tail end of World War II.

Can I ask what your name is?

Seth.

Oh, come on.

What’s the problem? Seth was a popular name in those times.

Yeah, and it’s also the name of my guide. This is you.

Well, yes, but I’m fully capable of helping you with this particular exercise. Do you mind?

I thought I was talking to a character I’d already written about.

Well, so I lied. Does this mean you want to stop?

No. Go on with your story.

Petulant are you?

No. Just getting tired. I don’t have the stamina for this anymore.

Well, it doesn’t matter. Just relax and let the story unfold.

In the beginning I was able to ride the rails with impunity. I had the job of buying cattle for my company. The people moving west were hungry and feeding them was what we did best. No more buffalo. Antelope were scarce so the raising of cattle was what drove the wave of immigration west on it’s belly.

I wasn’t married. What wife would have a man who traveled as I did? I wasn’t sure I wanted to marry anyway. Though I’d saved money and could afford my own place I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I wasn’t suited to farming. And buying cattle was nothing like raising them, so a cattle ranch was out of the question.

I had no trade like making shoes or black smithing. I was a city boy who’d gotten a job as a traveling salesman. I kept in touch with my family by writing infrequently. They would send letters to me care of general delivery at different cities along my way. They knew, for instance, that eventually I would be back in Chicago and so, when I did arrive in town I’d stop by the post office and pick up a bunch of letters sent in. Mostly it was my mother who wrote to me, though occasionally my pa would write. He was a preacher. I suppose I could have turned my hand at preachering but my heart wasn’t really in it. The war and all. It made people question their faith.

So, although my life seemed lonely it wasn’t really. In all the towns I went through there was always a restaurant or a saloon. I wasn’t a very big drinking man, but I did enjoy company occasionally. The only ones you wanted to watch out for were the cow pokes with their wages burning a hole in their pockets. They tended to drink too much and create an unholy ruckus what with wanting to get laid and accusing each other of cheating at cards when their luck didn’t hold out so good. But, I knew when to make myself scarce from those situations so that I didn’t run into trouble too often.

Once, though, I did have a spot of trouble with as ill tempered a man as you could imagine. His name was Bradley Burns. Son of a bitch was the owner of the local land office and he was a slimy sort of fellow. He used to salt mines and then sell the claims for really high prices.

Anyway, I'm not proud of it but it was good ole Bradley Burns who gave me the idea of a job I could do. That's when I turned to robbing banks. I rode the trains back and forth across the land.

And, that's enough for tonight.

Hey, thanks. That was sort of fun.

Where I Complain, Cry and Talk to My Mother

2008-03-15T19:18:00.000-07:00

For as many entries that I write these days I delete just as many. They go quickly. I look at what I’ve written and find fault with it. It doesn’t excite me. It bores me. And, if I am not pleased with it how can I possibly expect anybody else to want to read it? I sit here for half an hour and type, pouring my heart out, complaining, crying. It’s menopause. It’s mood swings. It’s something I would keep to myself.

Anyway, enough of that….if it swings one way it’s sure to swing the other way eventually.

I just finished reading, “High Five” by Janet Evanovich and wrote a bit of a review for it over on my book blog. Very cool book. If you were anywhere near me I’d lend you my copy. I’m thinking of taking it with me to Curves tomorrow and leave it in the box by the door. I see ladies pawing through there occasionally. Maybe some day I will too.

See, sometimes I’m sort of frozen. I don’t know why this is, but it’s been that way my whole life. I just say I’m shy. But, it’s really worse than that. I’m frozen. It’s like I don’t know how to dance but I keep trying. Like I’ve got a wooden leg and it swings wide, skidding on the rugs and kicking out at the table legs. But, I try. It’s not pretty. I’m not graceful. I’m not socially savvy. I don’t always say the right thing. I can piss my husband off and not really know what the frap I’ve said to make him angry. I’m like in a fog most of the time. People can talk to me and leave and I wonder what they said. It’s like it blows right through me. Which ain’t a good thing for somebody in a responsible position in an office. I’ll just have to get folks to repeat things and write them down quickly. That way I can go back over them and figure out what somebody just said to me. I wonder if that’s a psychological thing or if it’s just menopause?

I wish I was a cat. That would be easier. If I were a cat in my house. I could sleep wherever I wanted at night. I could curl up on the bed. I could sleep on somebody’s hip or on their shoulders. I could find a box or be on a chair. I could be in the living room or sit on the printer. Right now to the left of me is a cat on a scanner and to the right of me is a cat on a printer. Now, the scanner cat left and the printer cat moved over.

I wish I drank.

It would make things easier.

Maybe I’ll go make tea.

It’s times like this I wonder what the guides think of me. Must be a mess. Just a living, loving mess.

I don’t like to let people see me like this. I hide myself away. I wipe my face quickly to hide the evidence of tears. There’s no reason at all I should be crying.

Why? All I can say is menopause is sucking right now.

And, maybe I’m not so frozen that I won’t delete this mess. I’m sort of reaching for something here and I’m not sure what it is. I just need to reach out and not act like an adult right now.

Go make dinner.

I already ate.

Well, go eat again. You didn’t eat very much.

I could have some soup.

Yes, you could.

Should I delete all that?

No. leave it.

I think this is wishful channeling.

Could be.

My mouth still hurts.

Yes, you were grinding your teeth earlier and it hurt.

Yeah, I guess I shouldn’t grind them.

Grink or grind.

Who is this?

Who do you think?

Mom?

Yes, Sweetheart.

What should I do?

I used to go bang pots in the kitchen.

I can’t do that. Dennis will come and see what I’m doing.

So? He can see you banging pots.

I hate this.

I know you do. You’ll get over it. It will end. Eventually.

Thanks. I love you.

*****************************

Next Day: And, a bit of a post script. I was of two minds about deleting this entire entry. I felt almost as though I had paraded around in my underwear. But, I decided to keep it. Why I'm not sure. I still feel a little strange about it. But, I do feel better and, in fact, felt better immediately after having written it. I think it released a bit of tension.

Middle Aged Woman by Lisa Koch

2008-03-11T20:10:00.000-07:00

This says it all......

Plarn

2008-03-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

I ran across something called plarn this morning. Plarn is a yarn you make from all of your leftover plastic bags.

Always Stop For Red Lights

2008-03-05T07:21:00.000-08:00

I’d like to talk about boring. Like, I think I’m pretty boring most of the time. But, if people were to get a peak into my inside life with the guides I’m thinking they wouldn’t think it was so boring.

Like yesterday on the way home from work. There’s an approach of road that dips down and then goes uphill toward a stoplight. Inevitably, when I arrive at that particular light it is always red and I’ve always got to be stopped for a bit before it turns green for me. Yesterday, somebody in spirit said to me, “Don’t even slow down. Just keep going and the light will be green.” I laughed and said, “Yeah, right.” But, I did in fact not slow for the red light. At the last minute I chickened out and began to apply the brakes when the light turned green for me.

The guy facing me in the intersection must have thought there was some crazy dingbat lady driving the way I was laughing with nobody else in the car with me.

A Slice of Time During the Morning (Channeled parts in bold and italics)

2008-03-02T09:03:00.000-08:00

I bounce between two schools of thought about the entries I make in my blogs. On the one hand I am a long winded writer. It’s just a more natural flow for me to examine the minutia and find it absolutely fascinating. The tiniest little detail is worthy of being brought into the light to be examined. In really getting into whatever it is I happen to be writing about it is not uncommon that I lose track of how long the piece is getting.

On the other hand people tend to get bored. My husband’s eyes will glaze over and he develops a noticeable twitch when whatever story I am telling him grows too long. He says to me, “The Short Version!” I counter with, “This is the short version!”

Is this what is called being caught between a rock and a hard place? I think not. I believe I can take awhile to tell a story and to that story come the folk who don’t mind spending a bit of time. It is difficult for me to manage the short version. It’s like sweeping the icing off of the cake and presenting somebody with a bald and rather forlorn looking cupcake. Something is missing.

But, people like the short version. My boss is like that too. I wrote up the story of a disgruntled customer the other day. It caught everything the person had to tell me of their complaint. Finished, I was pleased to see I’d kept it all to one page. And, that was when I said, “It’s too long.” So, I erased the bottom 8 inches of the story and rewrote it. Now, interestingly enough, deleting all that large amount of story did not in any way cause one moment of consternation for me. Rather, it was like I got to write some more.

It’s not like vomiting on the page like was the case once upon a time. I’m taking the time now to spit judiciously. Oh, this is sick.

Dear, you are having a ball this morning.

Well, yes, you’re right. I don’t know where I’m going with it though. I’m just writing.

Yes, we can see that. Is there a story you’d like to tell?

I’d like to talk about what it’s like for me to read. How the letters move to sounds. How the letters on the page are like paint and are like music to my ears. Am I going bi-polar?

I think not. Continue.

I worry about that, you know.

Yes, we know you are worried about it. You will know if and when it happens. Your husband will be sure to say something to you.

Okay, in the quiet of this lovely Sunday morning maybe I ought to address whatever psychological shitty things need to be aired.

What a way with words you have.

Right. Well, it was fun a moment ago. Now, it isn’t fun anymore.

We realize that examining psychological issues is not your favorite thing to do. Why did you make the shift from writing about nothing to having a purpose?

Well, you were sort of standing there and I figured I ought to do something useful.

Your father would not consider this useful at all.

No, not much of what I do is.

So, there you have something to center in upon if you are so inclined.

You know, I was thinking about doing Byron Katie’s, “Loving What Is” work earlier today for somebody else. Maybe I should do it for my father too. I know when I did it with the kid downstairs everything between us altered. That was 2 years ago and it has never gone back to when I was so angry with him.

That is a good thing to do, however, your first inclination to move to the standard stand up on the table and beat the crap out of it with a baseball bat would also do more toward moving you into a rather productive time for the remainder of the weekend.

Like that, huh?

Like that, Dear.

Saving Grace

2008-03-01T17:07:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite television shows - Saving Grace