Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Higher Self Lessons

I wonder if when you are pushing yourself to do something, anything, that the other stuff you’re not consciously thinking about has to follow along.

For instance, there are two things that I’m currently working on. One, the losing weight thing, is something that has been on my mind since I was 12. I have only actually lost weight on 3 occasions, though. Once, when I was sick with mono as a teenager and I lost 18 pounds in 2 weeks. Another time, as a young adult when I lost 75 pounds with a low carb diet that yo-yo’ed to completion after a year, and shortly after I began channeling when I asked my guide for help and I lost 50 pounds.

Now, I’m losing weight again, though, it is a very, very slow process. It is, probably, the most healthy approach to losing weight that I have tried yet. Basically, it is eating healthy things, turning away from the evil, sugary and fat soaked things (mostly), trying not to eat after dinner and doing it very, very slowly. We’re talking a pound a week. If that.

The other thing I’m working on is writing this month. So far, two days have wound up in the toilet. Yesterday was one of them where I didn’t do any writing.

Added to this mix was the Boil. This has been a pain in the back for over a week. At least, like the guides said, it hasn’t been a pain in the butt. It is finally healing.

So, the pressure is on. Can she take it? I don’t know.

I had 3 screaming nightmares night before last. I was able to remember one of them, the first one, where my husband and the twit teenager kid downstairs were duking it out. That’s when I screamed in the dream for the kid’s mother to come and intervene. Not like she can really do anything. Last night the twit was working in their garage at 9:00 PM roaring along with some sort of automotive machinery. It filled the neighborhood with noise. It roared over the television program (Cops) we were watching. I went outside to investigate. Stupid twit. I went back inside and advised DeeDude not to go anywhere or do anything based upon the screaming nightmare I’d had the night before.

But, I couldn’t remember the other two nightmares. Until this morning.

The second of the nightmares involved me getting another boil. This one, however, was within reach of my own doctoring, unlike the other one where I’ve had to rely upon DeeDude’s excellent medical attentions upon my person all week. That’s why I screamed. Another boil.

Oh, and day before yesterday I also screamed at a State Farm lady. Like she had anything to do with what I was screaming about. She was just a figure head. Like I’m a figure head when I’m at work. I just sit there and answer the phone and it’s pot luck who’s on the other end. Could be a whiney person. Could be an angry person. Very rarely is it anything remotely pleasant.

What the (bleeped out though an excellent word for how I feel) is the universe trying to teach me here? What, dear Higher Self, am I supposed to come away from these most excellent lessons with?

Must remember our Higher Selves will never ask us to do anything we can’t handle. Must remember and keep uppermost in my mind that Friday approaches and next week I’ve got 2 days off for Thanksgiving. Must remember that whatever work I do with NaNoWriMo is good and will benefit me in the long run. I can take a day out to write on my newsletter for December and all will be well with that.

What’s the deal with me and pressure?

On the plus side I’ve been at my job 17 years. That counts for something. That means I can act responsibility and with an awesome office presence that these young whipper snappers just don’t have (don’t chew gum when you are in the office and are responsible for answering the phones). I don’t often lose it like I did with the State Farm lady.

Maybe, I just needed to let off some steam. Perhaps, this entry belongs more appropriately in the Rants and Vents section of my repertoire of blogs. Yeah, the guides are all nodding their heads…a bunch of them actually.

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