Went to the Zoo

We went to the Oakland Zoo over the weekend. It was a terrific visit.

It’s the Ten of Toast Rule.

My husband loves watching true crime stories on television. And, always, without fail he will, as the time approaches ten minutes until the top of the hour make some comment to the effect that, “We all know he did it. It’s ten of.”

So, I’m sitting back in the study just now minding my own business and I hear DeeDude hollering (all the fans in the house are going and the television is turned up high). He’s saying, “You’re toast Bub. Don’t you know it’s ten of?” At first I thought he was talking to Phil, our neighbor. Then, I wondered what the hell they could be talking about.

Curious, I left the study to go see DeeDude grabbing a handful of Hershey’s Kisses in the kitchen. During the commercial break we, like everybody else who watches television, find other things to do…like finding yummy things to eat in the kitchen. Phil wasn’t there. I asked him who he was talking to. He said he was talking to the guy on the TV; that it was the Ten of Toast Rule and we all knew who did it.

Fish Sticks

Here’s the conversation I just had with DeeDude.

Me: “What do you want to have for dinner tonight?”

DeeDude: “I don’t know. Don’t bother me I’m working.”

Me: “How about grilled cheese?” Now, I’m looking in the freezer. “No, I know. Let’s have fish sticks. There are lots of fish sticks in here.”

DeeDude: “Why? What made you think of fish sticks?”

Me: “Well, it’s Friday. I always think of having fish on Friday.”

DeeDude: “It’s too late. You’re already going down.”

I had to leave I was laughing so hard.

How I Tell a Story

My husband gets what he calls, “The Syndrome”. He learned how to do it from my father. I give it to him. I don’t know of anybody else who can do it as well as I do.

Here’s what happens: I start out telling him a story. About a minute into it his eyes start glazing over and I, knowing what is about to happen, begin to speak more quickly. If I can get the story out and into the open before he goes into full blown syndrome mode I’ll be lucky. Unfortunately, it hasn’t happened recently and we’ve been married for 31 years. What I do is after the syndrome hits fully with DeeDude twitching and has glazed eyes I just slow down, tell him to stop it and finish my story.

That’s how we operate around here.