Neti Pot Nasal Wash

When I was a teenager and into my young adult years I used to do a mild salt water wash of my sinuses. You'd cup a little water in your hand or in a small cup and sort of inhale it into one nostrul at a time. I remember as I would do the other one I'd have to stopper up the nostril I'd already loaded up otherwise it would all leak out. Once I'd loaded up both nostrils I'd bend over and hang my head down for a little bit. Presumably, this allowed the warm saline solution to wash into my sinuses. Then, for the really dramatic part I'd bring my head up and holding one of my nostrils shut would hose out the most disgusting crap out of my nose. Then, I'd switch sides and honk out the other one. It never failed to amaze me the stuff that came out of my nose.

It goes without saying that you'd have to clean the sink out afterward.

Anyway, breathing was great for many years and for some reason I stopped doing it. Can't quite remember why other than I might have felt I was getting addicted to this manner of cleaning or got tired of having a drippy nose for a few hours after every treatment. That, was the only downside that I can remember.

My sister recently extoled the virtues of her own Neti pot. I asked what the hell was a Neti pot and she began to tell me how she and my brother-in-law now regularly clean their nasal passages using this little gizmo. She said she met with a bit of resistance from my brother-in-law but was finally able to convince him to try it too. He told her that he hasn't felt this great in years. She said she's had a decrease in the frequency and severity of the sinus headaches she suffered from for years.

So, I bought one.

You should have heard DeeDude just now when I told him to come watch. I almost choked he was so funny. He said I should take a movie and put it on the blog. I think I'll pass on that one and instead just tell you how it went.

Luke warm water and a tiny bit of salt. Stir it up in the pot with your finger and pour. Breathe with mouth open and as you pour into the one nostril IT COMES OUT OF THE OTHER ONE! So, this is a slightly different procedure than the one I used when I was young. The advantage I can see right now is I'm not dripping all over the front of my shirt. The one thing I'm thinking, though, is that disgusting crud did not come out. So, it's cleaning my nostrils and not way up deep into my nasal passages.

And, it was funny to see DeeDude's reaction.

Farting

My mother once said, “My farts don’t stink.” She said it from where she was in the kitchen. My brothers, my sister and I were all out in the dining room hooting and making noise. Likely, they were all making farting noises. We had perfected all the different ways you can make a fart noise without actually farting. I can’t remember exactly what we were up to. It had to have been over 30 years ago. But, I do remember her saying, “My farts don’t stink.” We all shut up, looked at each other in wonder and then burst out laughing because my mother NEVER said the word fart. Ever. I had never heard her say it before then and I don’t think I ever heard her say it after.

I was reminded of that story when this evening DeeDude and I were watching the Activa commercial where the lady says something about how they’ll guarantee your system will be regular in 14 days. I said to DeeDude, “You know what that means. It means that your farts will be regulated and regular in 14 days. See, people don’t know that a person toots along all day long. But, you don’t hear anything and they are such tiny little farts and people are so on the move that nobody smells or hears anything. Booom the person is long gone have done a little toot. Actually, most people don’t even realize that they are releasing gas all day long. That’s why they’ve got scented underwear now. Those people know about it.” By then, the show was back on again and DeeDude had almost gone into Syndrome state, so I came back here to blog about it.

Ah, I looked it up. A person makes half a liter of fart gas a day divided up into, on average, 14 farts. Well, I certainly don’t fart at work. That would not be classy. And, I may be crude, but I do know how to act like a professional secretary. That’s why, when I get home I make up for lost time. I’m teasing. I’m like my mother. My farts (the few that do escape) don’t stink either.

Do you think I need a hobby?