Being busy, productive and interested in things evidently is not enough. Seems that I need to learn how to relax. Used to be I relaxed by smoking and by drinking and we ain’t talking Diet Coke here either. The deal is that I no longer smoke and I no longer drink. This morning I lay in bed and my guide said to me to begin a meditation. Like a ditz I really don’t know how. Much as I tell people how all the time when it gets down to brass tacks I really suck at meditation. But, since I need to know how to relax now (ding-donged TMJ playing havoc with my life) I was willing to give it a whirl.
They said imagine yourself on a path. Right away I could see this fine, baby fine green grass. I could feel that it was so soft to the touch and I marveled at it. But, it wasn’t a path, so I jerked myself back to being on a path. Lost the grass. Actually, lost the path. Start talking to the guides. I said, “This isn’t a path. That was a meadow.” They didn’t say anything. I turned my attention back to the meadow and decided maybe that’s where I was supposed to be. Then, I became aware of tears streaming down the sides of my face as I lay in bed.
And said, “I relax a little bit? Just a little bit and I start crying? What is going on with that?” Nothing. Nobody said anything.
So, I have something to think about now about how I must always be in some sort of constant state of alertness, constantly on guard, constantly busy, constantly held in such a rigid state of mind that the least little bit of relaxation sends me into tears? Yikes. I'll work on it.